


The Adventure Of Clownbert

by DragonWhiskey



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood and Violence, Comedy, Crimson Flower Route, Drama & Romance, F/F, Female Byleth, Flashbacks, Multi, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Spoilers, edelgard and byleth are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonWhiskey/pseuds/DragonWhiskey
Summary: Hubert finds it no laughing matter when he's turned into a clown by a magic troll. The Emperor's vassal needs to stop an evil plot by Edelgard's enemies while facing the demons of his past, all while looking like a total buffoon.This story takes place after the events of the Crimson Flower route and is inspired by a goofy meme I saw that depicted Hubert as a clown.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Other Relationships
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. An Empress, A Troll, And A Stinky Clown

<p>Imperial Year 1170-<br />  
A thin, dark haired boy awkwardly stands alone with his hands in his pockets. The lad seems to be in a large, open school yard staring down at the ground hoping to not call attention to himself.</p>

<p>"Oh look" a condescending voice yells from behind the dark haired boy, "it's Hubert." Hubert turns to spot a heavy set boy who shoves him to the ground, the mean kid is accompanied by two other boys, one is tall and thin with dark skin, and the other is a gruff dark blue haired boy with a scowl on his face that appears almost painted on.</p>

<p>"Hey freak" the dark skinned boy laughs "shouldn't you be playing dolls with your little princess friend" he teases, "she's not his friend, she's his boss" the fat boy chimes in "he doesn't have any friends." </p>

<p> Hubert tries to make it to his feet, but the blue haired boy kicks him in the gut. The mean spirited kids laugh as Hubert tries to catch a breath while he rolls on the ground, "now he's going to have his fat whore of a mother try to cast a spell on us" the dark skinned boy jokes. </p>

<p>"Leave Hubert alone" a loud, child's obstreperous little voice orders. The boys turn to see a small, brown haired girl with a stern look on her face marching over to them with a purpose. "What are you going to do about it Princess" that chubby boy mocks while crouching down to look the angry girl in the eyes.</p>

<p>Before the obnoxious boy can blink the tiny girl punches him straight in the nose. "OHHHOW" the boy cries out with tears welling in his eyes, "she just broke my nose" he yells with hands covering his face to catch the blood oozing from his nostrils .</p>

<p>"You little brat" the blued hair boy yells as he grabs the girl, she responds by quickly kneeing him between the legs and the boy goes down quicker than a consort for a brick of bullion. The dark skinned lad looks on in horror before running off, "your princess won't always be there to save you Von Vestra" he threatens.</p>

<p>Hubert gets back to his feet and manages to catch his breath, "are you okay Hubert" the little girl asks, "not to worry Lady Edelgard" he replies, "only my pride has been damaged." </p>

<p>\-------------------------</p>

<p> Imperial Year 1187-<br />  
Hubert Von Vestra staggered into his living quarters located inside the Imperial Palace in Enbarr, he's been working late as always and his duties as the servant to his Emperor and Empress have grown ever more tedious.</p>

<p>Hubert pours himself an alcoholic beverage and sits in a dark, leather chair. 

Hubert was never a drinker until recently, it seems to be the only way he could make it through the day with a modicum of sanity intact.</p>

<p>As he swallows a mouth full of hard liquor, Hubert reflects on his life up until this point. </p>

<p>He recalls being appointed Lady Edelgard's vassal when he was only six years of age, he was none too happy about it at the time.</p>

<p> Hubert remembered how she would force him to partake in tea parties with her and her dolls, tie ribbons in his hair, and worst of all when he complained to his father he was chastised and often backhanded by the bitter curmudgeon before having to endure the harsh and trite lecture his father would recite about the duty Hubert had as a member of house Vestra.</p>

<p>Hubert could recall the plethora of times Edelgard would save him from bullies, a fate far more humiliating than simply being assaulted by delinquents was having to be rescued by his small and bratty mistress.</p>

<p>Over time Hubert began to see Lady Edelgard as a younger sister he needed to care for, a duty he would come to take seriously and thus when the little princess was taken away, Hubert was trapped in a state of self loathing and found it impossible to forgive himself.</p>

<p>He had a flashback of a small yet still figure standing in a dark corner, he swiftly forced his mind to avoid that memory, he never wanted to revisit that night ever again. That horrible night changed Hubert forever and the alcohol he consumed was rendered useless in removing it from his recollection. </p>

<p> Instead he remembered when the Immaculate One fell in the streets of Fhirdiad. He could still hear the sounds of the vile lizard as Edelgard and Byleth did the impossible and slayed the monstrosity, ending the reign of Rhea and the church of Seiros.</p>

<p>Lady Edelgard would not stop there, she and Byleth would hunt down Those Who Slither In The Dark; a term he used to describe a subterranean civilization known as the Agarthans. 

When they clashed with Edelgard's former allies, she, Byleth, and the Black Eagles Strike Force would butchered them one by one, freeing Fodlan from their influence.</p>

<p>No more Crest system, no more nobility, no more Church Of Seiros. Edelgard did everything she set out to do and as a result the common folk and the oppressed rallied around her. </p>

<p>Artists began to draw portraits of the beautiful Emperor and her beloved, slaying the horrifying dragon and little girls throughout the Empire would dress up like Edelgard in hopes of mimicking their hero. </p>

<p>Hubert felt he should be happy, but he was utterly lost, he found himself killing nothing but time. 

Instead of a plotter of dastardly schemes, Hubert was now a mere diplomat.</p>

<p>The vassal was prepared to die for Edelgard and her cause, but the young man was now realizing that he wasn't remotely prepared for his mistress to actually succeed. 

After all the Emperor's goals were so ambitious that Hubert surreptitiously thought that perhaps even she was unable to accomplish such an undertaking, and now that she had, he was feeling lost and without purpose.</p>

<p>At least Edelgard was happy, she and Byleth got married right after their victory over Rhea. 

Hubert never knew Edelgard had any romantic feelings towards other women until they attended Garreg Mach.

Edelgard had never professed amorous feelings towards the Professor, but Hubert suspected as much given how Edelgard gushed over the woman far more than he was comfortable with.</p>

<p>Byleth and Edelgard's union was not typical among royals in Fodlan, homosexual marriages were traditionally frowned upon by many especially when it came to royalty. After all if royals did not sire children there was no heir to the thrown.

Edelgard however, could smash traditions as easily as she could smash the skulls of her enemies and homosexual weddings were now very much in fashion since the Emperor and her Empress made it less taboo. </p>

<p>Hubert recalled his father telling him same sex unions were deviant and not to be respected, Hubert wasn't sure if he agreed with such a statement, seeing as he frequently disregarded most drivel that hypocrite espoused, but he found the whole thing to be unusual and made him somewhat uncomfortable. </p>

<p>Hubert felt heterosexuality was the natural order and perhaps it was best to adhere to it.</p>

<p>Though deep down it was possible Hubert knew his apprehension towards his Emperor's marriage was petty jealousy. 

When Hubert reached puberty the way he saw Edelgard began to change and the princess's beauty and elegance was hard not to notice. 

Even Hubert, who's hobbies included murdering anyone who got in Edelgard's way, couldn't help but melt at the sight of Edelgard's ethereal smile, a smile that would make even the goddess erupt with envy.</p>

<p>Hubert's feelings were kept to himself for several years until one day Edelgard practically forced him to divulge his feelings towards her. </p>

<p>Hubert could never forget that day no matter how much he drank. 

He recalled the way the woman he loved blatantly laughed in his face after pouring out his heart to her, a black and cold heart but a heart nonetheless.</p>

<p>"Enough teasing" Edelgard ordered "tell me her name, Hubert." "It is you, Lady Edelgard" he answered "Did you ever really doubt?" </p>

<p>Although Hubert never expected his love for Edelgard to be reciprocated, nothing could prepare him for her response. "Heh" the beautiful Emperor giggled, "Hubert... You never cease to surprise me." </p>

<p>Hubert felt that if his heart had a pair of testicles, the laughter of Edelgard would have punched them so hard it would speak as if it inhaled large quantities of helium at all times.</p>

<p>He was certain Edelgard's laughter was that of surprise and not disrespect, but that didn't stop Hubert from feeling more deflated than the times she would give him makeovers when they were children. </p>

<p>Before, Hubert could have at least buried his sorrow with acts of murder, but with so much peace throughout Fodlan, whiskey and gin would have to take the place of bloodshed.</p>

<p>As harsh memories flooded his mind, Hubert continued to drink more and more heavily until he eventually passed out while still sitting in his chair.</p>

<p>The next morning he awoke to the irksome cuckoo clock in his room that resembled a menacing looking raven. Hubert stumbles to his feet, "Goddess damn it" he yelled aloud, he remembered that Lady Byleth was to make her first public appearance without Edelgard.

Byleth was a kind and beautiful woman but had the social skills of a rock and her face was often without expression. 

Hubert would need to keep an eye on her in hopes of keeping the odd woman from being too off putting to the locals, after all she was now the Empress of the Empire.</p>

<p>\----------------</p>

<p>Meanwhile, a sign in front of a building reads "Club For Fancy Noble Folks."

Inside six people are at a long table in front of a strange looking man with purple skin, a bald oval shaped head, and a long, black mustache.</p>

<p>"Things have been just terrible Mister... ah what was your name" a tall, thin man with dark blue hair asks. 

  
"Halvok" the creepy, purple man replies.

  
"Halvok, an interesting name" the man response, "the Agarthan names are sure interesting." 

  
"Damn it Eugene" a fat, balding man shouts, "get on with it."</p>

<p>"Sorry" Eugene says, "Mister Halvok, I'm sure you know all too well the pernicious effects that Emperor Edelgard has had on all of Fodlan" he says in a haughty tone. 

"She's been taxing us" yells a chubby, darked haired woman how looks to be in her fifties, "us, the wealthy and superior class of people." </p>

<p>"Landia is right" the fat man adds, "she's even expecting us nobles to obey the laws meant for the stinking, ugly commoners." "That's the problem, Henry" a bald man in a robe adds, "you aren't a noble anymore, no one is." "With all this stress I've lost four pounds" Henry complains.</p>

<p>"You could afford to lose weight" a pink haired woman chimes in, "I'm the real victim, I was to be wed to a nobleman and now my chance of being nobility have been squashed by that white haired succubus." The woman bursts into tears, "now how am I going to live a life without hard work or responsibility."</p>

<p>"I'm sorry to hear that, Angela" Eugene says, "but can't you still marry that man anyway?" 

"Marry a man who isn't a noble" she says in shock and disgust, "I think not."</p>

<p>"Things aren't any better for those of us in the church" the man in the robe pipes up. 

"You're a member of the church" Halvok asks, "hasn't the church been disbanded?"</p>

<p>"Only the main church" the man answers, "I'm Father Godwin of the Western church, and that harlot of an emperor has abolished the freedoms of the religious." 

"She's banned religion" Angela asks, 

"well, she never exactly banned religion" Father Godwin admits with a shake of his head and a shrug of his shoulders, "but she has prevented us from making sure the morals of the church are enacted in the laws throughout Fodlan." 

"Seriously" Godwin proclaims, "what's the point of having faith in a loving goddess if you can't enforce it on others."</p>

<p>Eugene asks a bitter looking, grey haired man he refers to as Fredrick, if he has anything to add. "Fuck the emperor" Fredrick yells sternly, "I hope a flying demonic beasts shits on her head."</p>

<p>"I think I've heard enough" Halvok says, "you have all clearly suffered at the hands of this vile emperor but I have the answer right here.

" Halvok places a cage covered with a dark blanket on the table, and pulls the blanket off in dramatic fashion, "behold" he yells revealing a two foot tall, green skinned troll. </p>

<p>"What in the name of the goddess is that thing" Landia asks. 

"This is a rare creature known as an annoyger troll" Halvok explains. 

"We gave you our bullion for this" Henry declares angrily, "this little monstrosity will not stand a chance of killing Emperor Edelgard."</p>

<p>"You petty simpletons" Halvok scolds, "my cousin Thales tried to defeat Edelgard and he was slain by the fell star, the mad king of Faerghus tried to kill Edelgard and she hacked off his head like a chicken, and even the archbishop tried to kill Edelgard and she too is now dead."

"Well" says Eugene "if this tiny beast isn't going to kill the emperor than why did we pay a small fortune for it?" 

"You do remember collecting money from us to purchase a weapon to fight the emperor" Henry asks sternly.</p>

<p>"Yes" Halvok replies, "a weapon to defeat the emperor doesn't mean we have to defeat her in combat."

Halvok explains that the common people have been supportive of their new emperor, but once the people are no longer on her side they will come running back to the church and the nobility to lead them once again. 

"So how does that weird thing play into the commoners turning on the emperor" Angela asks. 

"The annoyger has magic that surpasses the most skilled wizards" Halvok states, "it is able to cast a spell on a target that makes them look foolish in the eyes of others." "I like the sound of that" Eugene says with a grin, "the emperor will look as foolish to the peasants as she does to us." </p>

<p>"Why the fuck is that ugly thing so Goddess damn expensive" Fredrick asks. 

"An annoyger troll doesn't come cheap" Halvok explains, "they're a very rare creature and finding someone who can breed them is difficult." 

Landia eyes the troll as it dances about and shakes it's green behind, "I'll bet it's difficult" she says, "I can't imagine putting up with several of these abhorrent creatures everywhere, and the thought of them breeding makes me almost as sick as the laughter and joy of commoners."</p>

<p>Halvok pulls out a leather bag, "in order to control the annoyger one must have access to Monodon seeds."

Halvok removes one from the bag and the troll stops goofing off and it's eyes widen. 

"Gimme" the troll yells as it tries to grab the seed. Halvok hands the small monster a seed and the annoyger swiftly eats it. 

"All you need to do" Halvok instructs, "is hand the beast a seed and when it consumes it, the creature will obey your commands." </p>

<p>Halvok opens the cage and the troll steps out. 

"Tell him to bite the emperor in the face" Fredrick yells "or piss in her tea." 

"That's not the plan Fredrick" Halvok says shaking his head. Halvok explains to the troll that he needs to find the Adrestian Emperor and cast his Tomfulary spell on her. 

"Which one is the emperor he asks looking around the table. 

"No no" Halvok says she's not here, we'll send you to the Empire and you'll seek out the Emperor."

The troll looks up at Halvok with a confused look "the Emperor is the woman who runs the Empire" Halvok explains, "do you understand?" 

The Troll seems to be realizing what it's being ordered to do and shakes his head, "yes yes, the Emperor" it smiles devilishly.</p>

<p>Halvok orders the troll to return to them when the deed is done and make sure he's not followed. 

Angela asks how their going to get the troll to the Empire without anyone noticing. 

Halvok smiles "we're going to mail him."</p>

<p>\-----------------------</p>

<p>Back at the Castle of Enbarr Hubert rushes to find Byleth. He turns to spot Edelgard dressed in her red outfit and golden crown.</p>

<p>"Forgive my tardiness Lady Edelgard" Hubert says with a bow as he catches his breath. 

"Is everything alright, Hubert" Edelgard asks, "it isn't like you to not be on time." 

"Everything is fine" he replies, "where is Lady Byleth?"</p>

<p>Edelgard walks back to her bedroom door and peers in before swinging it open, "there she is" Edelgard says. 

Hubert looks inside to see Byleth wearing a white nightgown. "Hello Hubert" she says with her typical half smile. 

"You're not dressed" Hubert says in astonishment. 

"Don't worry" Byleth says, "my boots and overcoat won't take long to put on."</p>

<p>Hubert's head darts back toward Edelgard in hopes the Emperor will set her Empress straight, but instead Edelgard simply turns and walks out of the room. A surprised Hubert rushes after her frantically.</p>

<p>"Lady Edelgard" he says trying to keep from shouting, "what are you doing?"

Edelgard looks at him with annoyance, "what do you mean what am I doing" she asks, "you know I'm needed in Brigid to meet with Petra and sign a new treaty." 

Hubert raises his hand and gestures towards Byleth, "you can't seriously let the Empress show up in an important public event dressed as a homeless prostitute." 

"My beloved Byleth does not" Edelgard starts to say before trailing off, "well, maybe she could use a new look" she agrees.</p>

<p>Back in her bedroom Byleth has Hubert and Edelgard gently explaining to her that her fashion choices aren't appropriate for her new role as Empress. 

Byleth folds her arms and asks what's wrong with the clothes she always wears. 

"Nothing my love" El says a little more swiftly than she wanted to, "it's just..." 

"what Lady Edelgard is trying to say" Hubert explains " is your clothing looks utterly atrocious."

Edelgard gives Hubert a quick look of admonishment, while Byleth scowls directly at Edelgard herself.</p>

<p>"What about your ridiculous looking horns" Byleth states with her arms still crossed.

"Ridiculous" Edelgard says with great offense, "I'll have you know this crown has been worn by at least ten generations of Adrestian Empresses." 

"That doesn't make it any less ridiculous" Byleth replies, "and it makes you look like a goat." 

"You never told me you thought my crown looked ridiculous" Edelgard says in a surprised yet stern voice, "well even though i was raised with a group of mercenaries and never lived as a fancy noble," Byleth responds, "I was still taught proper manners." </p>

<p>Hubert places his hand on his head, realizing he's now trapped in a marital spat he unintentionally created. 

"I apologize, Lady Byleth" Hubert says with a bow, "neither the Emperor nor myself intended any disrespect. Perhaps you could find garb here in the castle you could wear for today's festivities." </p>

<p>Less than a half an hour later Hubert paces outside of Byleth's bedroom when the Empress steps out wearing a predominantly dark purple colored gown with a gold head piece, she had on gold sandals and her top adorned a strange design that appeared to be made with rope.</p>

<p>"Your Majesty" Hubert said in bewilderment and relief, "you look exquisite." 

"Thank you, Hubert" Byleth replied with a smile "this reminds me of something a friend of mine used to wear." </p>

<p>Byleth looks around, "did El leave for Brigid yet" she asks. 

"Yes" Hubert answers "but not to worry, I'm sure you'll do fine on your own."</p>

<p>As she rides in her carriage, Edelgard sits with one leg crossed over the other and seems to have something on her mind.

El abruptly pulls off her crown and stares at it before placing it down next to her rather then putting it back on, "why didn't anyone say anything before" she says out loud.</p>

<p>\------------------</p>

<p>Byleth sits on a chair next to Hubert in front of a large crowd of people, behind them is a medium sized building. Byleth sits with one leg crossed over the other and her hands are folded together on her lap.<br />  
Facing the crowd is Lysithea who tells the people of how she was spared by Edelgard and invited to fight on her side. 

"Now that I'm living here in the Empire I wanted to give something to the community" the white haired girl explains, "with the increased popularity of coffee I decided to open this shop that will cater to the needs of every coffee lover, unless their a ghost."

Hubert shook his head in disbelief at Lysithea's foolish ghost comment.</p>

<p>"In naming this new coffee shop I thought of the Empress and my old class which we used to call the golden deer" Lysithea explained, "I now present to you....The Fell StarBucks." 

The crowd clapped and Lysithea introduced Empress Byleth, the crowd roared with excitement as Byleth stood up and waved gently to the mass of people thrilled to get a look at the legendary Fell Star.</p>

<p>"Hello everyone" the Empress spoke gently in a somewhat awkward tone. 

"You're so beautiful" a woman screams from the back, "ah, thank you" Byleth says not knowing how to take such a loud and intense complement.

"I love you Empress" a man's deep voice rang out, "oh okay" Byleth replies "I love you too.. Sir." </p>

<p>As the crowd fawns over Byleth, a horse drawn wagon rides in to town with the word "mail" written on the side. The driver stops as he hears something in the back moving around. </p>

<p>The driver enters the back of the wagon and looks for a cause to the commotion, he spots a nearly three foot tall box that has been ripped open. As he inspects the damaged package the annoyger pops up behind him, sandwiches his head between his large hands, and zaps the man with a surge of magic energy.

"Heee heeee haaa" the monster laughs as he cooks his victim's brain.</p>

<p>The troll exits the wagon and hears the crowd cheering for Byleth, it sneaks in among the people to see what's going on.</p>

<p>Byleth tells the crowd that opportunities will now be accessible to all people of Fodlan and they too can follow their dreams and open their own business just like her friend Lysithea. She then tells the crowd she will stay to autograph sword of the creator replicas available for purchase inside the Fell Starbucks.</p>

<p>"I want to get an autograph from the Empress a woman says, "the annoyger troll hears the word empress and wonders if that's the same as an emperor. The green monster remembers Halvok telling him the Emperor is the woman that runs the Empire, and seeing how the people are reacting to this blue haired lady she must be the target.</p>

<p>Hubert notices a small green troll approaching Byleth as she shakes the hands of onlookers in the front row. 

The annoyger powers up a rainbow colored ball of energy in his hands with a malevolent look in his beady eyes, the troll tosses the rainbow ball towards Byleth but Hubert jumps in front of it to protect the Empress. 

The energy ball sends Hubert flying backwards down a steep hill. "uh oh" the annoyger says as he realizes he just made a mistake, the strange little beast then runs off before he can be spotted by Byleth.</p>

<p>While she autograph's sword replicas for fans, Byleth turns to Lysithea and asks where Hubert is, Lysithea says he probably went in to buy a coffee.

"He does like coffee" Byleth said, and then she turns back to sign more swords for the adoring public.</p>

<p>\--------------------- </p>

<p>As a boy of just ten, Hubert tried to rescue Edelgard from the Kingdom of Faerghus. Her uncle Arundel had taken her and Hubert needed to get her back more then he ever needed anything. </p>

<p>Hubert's father sent soldiers to retrieve him, and although he avoided capture for three days; Hubert was eventually recovered and returned to the city.</p>

<p>The young lad could only tidy Edelgard's room in hopes it would be perfect when she returned, he placed her favorite doll on her bed knowing that she slept with it every night.</p>

<p>Days went past and the Princess didn't return. 

Hubert had trouble sleeping and the already thin boy was losing weight from lack of food.</p>

<p>Hubert went to school and stood alone against the wall with his arms crossed as if to comfort himself. 

"Well well" a voice said, "if it isn't the loser who lost his little princess." 

Hubert recognized Roger; the fat bully he had been assaulted by for years. "Leave me alone Roger" Hubert ordered "I'm not in the mood to deal with you." 

"You don't get to boss me around" Roger says before shoving Hubert into the wall, "your Princess isn't here to save you." </p>

<p>Hubert stared a hole in the boy but said nothing, "you had one job, Hubert" Roger scolds, "to look after your little Princess and you couldn't even do that" he mocked. 

Hubert shoves Roger and tells him to leave at once. Roger punches Hubert in the gut and Hubert slides down the wall behind him straight to the ground. "Don't try to act tough with me you freak" Roger yells as Hubert holds his stomach. </p>

<p>Roger crouches down and tells Hubert he heard that little Edelgard was taken away by underground weirdos and her body is probably already been dumped in a lake somewhere. The fat boy laughs and walks off, as Hubert's face turns red with rage.</p>

<p>Hubert stands up and storms over to Roger and punches him straight in the back of the head. Roger stumbles back and falls to the ground.

"Goddess damn you Vestra" he yells. 

Hubert mounts the boy and punches him again and again in a fury, "how dare you speak of Lady Edelgard that way you corpulent pile of excrement" Hubert screams. 

Two male professors rush in to pull Hubert off of Roger who is badly bleeding. 

"I'll kill you" Hubert shouts as tears pour down his face "I swear I'll kill you!"<br />  
\-----------------------------------</p>

<p>After his flashback, Hubert awakens to find himself lying face down in a pile of mud, his body ached and he struggled just to elevate his upper body with his arms but when he did he spotted his reflection in a tiny pool of water. Hubert was a clown.</p>

<p>His face was painted white with a red nose and a red smiling mouth. 

"What in blazes" he yelled. Hubert then discovered he was wearing a rainbow colored outfit and goofy looking red shoes. </p>

<p>Before he could process what was happening he could hear tiny voices. 

"Look, it's a clown" a young girl no more than six said while pointing at Hubert. The girl was accompanied by three young boys that were slightly older. 

"Don't go near him" one of the boys warns, "he probably stinks." One of the other boys laughs and mocks Hubert, "stinky clown, stinky clown" he chants, the other kids find this hilarious and chime in, "stinky clown, stinky clown."</p>

<p>To say that Hubert hated children would be an understatement, he considered them to be the most vile creatures the Goddess had ever released upon the Earth. 

"Quiet you obnoxious little fools" Hubert bellowed. </p>

<p>"Don't tell us to be quiet, you stinky clown" the smallest boy replied, "we don't have to listen to you" and with that he threw a rock that beamed Hubert in the head.</p>

<p>"You little bastard" Hubert yelled as he generated an energy ball of magic, "uh oh' one of the boys yells, "he's got magic." 

"I knew clowns were magic" the girl yells as she runs off with the boys following behind her.

"Next time I will not hesitate to liquefy your organs" Hubert threatens.</p>

<p>Hubert storms towards the castle entrance only to be stopped by the gatekeeper. 

The gatekeeper used to work at the monastery before the war, it's odd that he was loved by the students and knights and yet no one seemed to know his name.</p>

<p>"Halt there jester" The Gatekeeper orders. 

"You fool" Hubert says reprimanding the guard, "it's me, Hubert."

"Trying to imitate the Emperor's vassal is deplorable" The Gatekeeper shouts before summoning back up to deal with the clown, "leave here at once jester."</p>

<p>Hubert has become increasingly enraged, "damn you fools" Hubert yells before he takes out six guards with magic.

"You defeat me" Hubert mocks, "I think not." From behind The Gatekeeper cracks Hubert in the back of the head and knocks him out. </p>

<p>Two Adrestian knights carry Hubert outside the city and toss him in a ditch. 

As the men walk off Hubert tries to wipe off the makeup on his face but finds he is unable, he then tries removing his clown suit but to no avail. Hubert even attempts a healing spell on himself to rid him of this curse but the Troll's magic is far too powerful. 

It's at this moment Hubert realizes the only person who could possibly aid him is a woman who he wished to never lay eyes on again, a woman with great magical talent but annoyed Hubert to no end, his mother...</p>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I saw a meme online that displayed Hubert as a clown and I thought a story about a clown Hubert would be a good idea, yes I'm using the word good rather loosely.
> 
> -Yes, the other members of the Black Eagles will be featured in the following installments.
> 
> -No, the nobles featured as well as Halvok, the Annoyger Troll and Hubert's mother are not characters in any Fire Emblem games. I made them up.


	2. The Clown Of The Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his desperation, Hubert turns to his mother to help him lift his clown curse. What happens next has Hubert reunited with two old classmates. Meanwhile Byleth attempts to run the Empire in her wife's absence.

The Clown Of The Opera

A ten year old Hubert glances in a large, dark room before stepping inside. A look of hope fades from his face when he spots a girl with long, white hair standing still in the corner.

"Lady Edelgard" Hubert says, to no response.

Hubert felt a sense of dread wash over him as he forced himself to slowly walk forwards towards the girl who was facing the wall not allowing her face to be seen.

Hubert takes a breath and again attempts to get the girl's attention, "Lady Edelgard, it's me Hubert."

Still nothing, the girl was wearing a dirty white gown, her tiny hands were covered with dirt but not as bad as her bare feet which were nearly black.

Hubert's hand was shaking as he reached for the girl's shoulder, his heart raced, his hand reached closer and closer....

Back in 1187, Hubert's hand was shaking and reaching for something else; a thick, gold door knob. He couldn't seem to force himself to open the door or even knock.

As Hubert stood in his foolish looking clown outfit he thought of walking away, but just then the door swings open and a dark haired, heavy set woman steps out.

"Hubert" the woman says "is that you honey bun?"

Hubert rolled his eyes before answering "yes mother, it is I."

Hubert's mother places her hands together and smiles, "my little Hubert, you look adorable, you're a clown now, it's so good to see you doing something positive with your life."

"I am not a clown" Hubert insists, "you could have fooled me" his mother replies.

Hubert tells his mother he needs her help and he'll explain inside, his mother lets him in and tells him she'll get him some coffee.

Hubert sits in a lounge chair while he explains how a small creature hit him with a ball of magical energy intended for Lady Byleth.

"A small creature you say" his mother says curiously as she turns to a bookshelf full of magic crystals.

As she looks through her shelf of magic books, Hubert's mother takes the opportunity to talk with her son.

"It's been so long since I've had the chance to see you Hubert" his mother says sorrowfully as she thumbs through a thick book, "are you still working with that girl you have a crush on?"

"Lady Edelgard is not simply a girl I have a crush on Mother" he says with irritation in his voice, "she is the Emperor of the Adrestian Empire and I am her vassal."

"That's right" his mother replies, "little Elly is the Emperor now, oh that's adorable, I always liked that girl."

Hubert is visibly growing more impatient by the moment, "with all due respect Mother" Hubert says, "I am not here for a social visit and require assistance as soon as possible."

"Such an impetuous boy, just like your Father" his mother responds while shaking her head, "speaking of your father I haven't seen him in months, I wonder what happened to him.

"Lady Edelgard had him executed for treason" Hubert snaps.

"She did" his mother states in surprise, "I knew I liked her."

"Mother could you please for the love of the Goddess, cure this abominable hex placed upon me" Hubert says harshly.

"I will, I will" she says, but first I must identify the culprit."

"Hubert honey" she goes on to say, "I need you to describe your little monster for me."

"It was short and green' Hubert says, "it also had large ears and a fowl looking grin with massive teeth."

His mother stops on a page in the book, "oh no, that's not good" she says.

"What do you mean not good" Hubert shouts.

"Hubert honey" his Mother said, "did this creature have an odor by any chance."

"It smelt like rotting refuse and dead leaves" Hubert replied.

"And by any chance did this creature seem irritating in any way" Hubert's mother asked as she looked up from the book.

"It most certainly was" he replied swiftly, "just looking at it's revolting face provoked a desire in me to kick the ugly beast into a volcano."

"Well I found your monster" his Mother stated, "it's a troll known as an annoyger, and I'm afraid you've been hit by a Tomfulary spell."

Hubert's Mother explains that the annoyger troll casts a spell on people to make them look foolish in the eyes of others, she also tells him it's magic is far too powerful to be removed by anyone but the troll itself.

"Goddess damn it" Hubert yells, "you mean I have to hunt that vile little reprobate down."

"Not necessarily" his Mother cuts in, "you said he tried to target the Empress which means you were not the intended victim."

"Why does that matter" Hubert asks.

"Because" said his Mother, "the annoyger troll can only cast one Tomfulary spell at a time and can't curse someone else until it lifts the curse from the last person it affected."

Hubert's mind went into overdrive hoping to figure out what was going on, "why would such a creature target Lady Byleth" he asks.

Hubert's mother skims through the book in an attempt to find a clue when she comes across a passage that states that the troll rarely if ever acts of it's own accord, but instead obeys commands given by those who give the creature seeds of a Monodon fruit.

When she explains this to Hubert he pops up out of his chair looking horrified.

"Don't worry" Hubert's mother says in hopes of calming him down, "the troll can sense it's own magic spell and he'll probably find you in no time and lift the curse."

"That's not good Mother" he yells, whoever sent this creature, did so to place a curse on Lady Byleth."

"Well whoever sent that thing is either a breeder of annoyger trolls which there aren't many of" his Mother explains, "or they have plenty of funds because they can be highly expensive."

Hubert's eyes widen when he feels he finally has the answer, "former nobles" he says, "I knew they wouldn't take loosing their privilege lying down."

Hubert starts to pace back and forth wondering what to do.

"I need to warn Lady Byleth but I can't get near her looking like this" he says frantically, "I can't go anywhere looking this way."

"You could go to the opera" his mother says.

"What' he replies with a glare of confusion.

"The opera will sometimes have other acts" she explains "and one is going on in a few hours that features a clown."

"I'm not going to the opera" Hubert shouts, feeling as if his mother isn't taking this seriously.

Hubert then stops in his tracks.

"On second thought, that may not be a bad idea" he says.

Hubert remembered that his fellow Black Eagle, Dorothea was now working in the opera theater, perhaps she could deliver a message to Byleth.

"I need to get going, Mother" Hubert says with a bow, "before that hideous little beast finds me."

Hubert rushes out the door and his Mother yells out "come back and visit me again soon."

"Yes Mother of course" he yells back, "not bloody likely" he utters under his breath.

\------------------------------------------

Surrounded by Knights, Byleth walked back inside the castle.

The Empress made her way inside a large conference room where Prime Minister Ferdinand was waiting.

He spots Byleth in her new outfit and is surprised to see her in anything but a grey overcoat.

"Lady Byleth" he said enthusiastically, "you look divine."

Byleth looks around before thanking Ferdinand for the compliment, "have you seen Hubert" she asks.

"No" he replies, "I have not seen him nor Caspar."

Byleth wondered what happened to Hubert who was with her at the opening of the Fell Starbucks.

"I guess we'll need to wait for them" Byleth says as she takes a seat.

Just then Caspar rushes in, "sorry I'm late" he says in his typically loud voice, "the knights and I were investigating a murder."

Ferdinand looks at him in surprise, "a murder" he says in surprise.

"Yeah" Caspar says, "a mail delivery guy got his head blown up."

Byleth's eyes widen, "how could this have happened" she asks.

"Not sure" Caspar shrugs, "must have been a magic user who was sick of getting junk mail, or maybe they're mail was always late" Caspar speculates.

"This is certainly troubling" Ferdinand states, "just when it looked as if things were becoming more peaceful around these parts."

"Yeah, well shit happens" Caspar says, "anyways, let's get down to business."

"You are right Caspar" Ferdinand agrees, "we must keep the Empire running smoothly so when Edelgard returns she'll see that my ability to run the Empire surpasses even her's."

Byleth shakes her head, "must you continue to compete with El at everything" she asks knowing dam well what the answer was.

"Yes I must" Ferdinand replies with his usual gusto, "one time I even wore Edelgard's lingerie without her knowing just to prove that I could look far more beautiful than she does in her own clothing."

Byleth's mouth opens as she glares at Ferdinand in disapproval, "that's why her black lingerie was all stretched out," she says, "she looked so beautiful in that."

"Although I am certain the Emperor looked utterly exquisite" Ferdinand says, "I am positive I looked far superior."

Caspar looks on in bewilderment, "I thought the discovery of a man with his brains oozing out of his head was going to be the most disturbing part of my day" he says with a frozen expression, "but I was wrong."

\---------------------------------------------------

Hubert finally made it to the large auditorium, he was wearing a dark overcoat in hopes of concealing his ridiculous appearance and managed to slip inside without notice. Unbeknownst to Hubert, the annoyger troll was following close behind.

The odd monster had already crawled up to the roof top looking for a way inside the building.

Backstage, Dorothea sits in a chair in front of a mirror brushing her long hair, she looks stylish in a dark, black top without sleeves, a dark brown pair of pants, and a pair of flat, black shoes.

A pleased look can be seen on Dorothea's face when she notices Bernadetta in the mirror's reflection.

"Dorothea" Bernadetta calls, Dorothea turns and smiles, happy to see her friend had arrived to watch her perform.

Bernie looked a little more fancy than usual, she had on a very thin, black coat over a white shirt, and dark pants, and black boots that gave her an extra inch of height.

"You were great as always" Bernie praised.

Dorothea hugged Bernadetta and thanked her. "I'm so glad you made it Bernie" Dorothea said, "are you going to stay for the rest of the show?"

Bernadetta's eyes widened and she shook her head swiftly, "oh no" she said, "soon the clown is going to perform."

"Don't like clowns" Dorothea asked trying to hide her amusement.

"Definitely not' she replied, "they terrify me."

"You sure are afraid of a lot of things" Dorothea chuckled. "Not like this" Bernie explained with her hands balled up in fists, "whenever I see a clown I just want to strangle it and watch it die."

Dorothea's expression changes to one of discomfort, she was not expecting that type of violent sentiment to come from Bernadetta of all people.

"Well let's just be hopeful you don't run into that clown then" Dorothea says. 

"Yeah well it was nice seeing you again" Bernie says.

"Wait Bernie" Dorothea interrupts, "why don't I get my carriage and you and I can catch up."

Bernadetta smiles, "yeah that would be nice" she replies in her typically awkward manner.

Backstage A man is applying clown make up not realizing that the annoyger troll is peering in at him through the window.

The troll displays an evil grin just before breaking the window with his green fist and hopping inside much to the horror of the clown.

The clown backs up until his back is firmly against the wall, "what are you" he asks in astonishment.

Realizing the clown isn't Hubert, the troll's face turns into an angry scowl, the annoyger troll blasts the clown with magic energy beams transforming him into a chard corpse on the floor.

As Dorothea and Bernadetta are getting ready to leave, Hubert darts in front of them, "Dorothea" he says "I need your help."

Bernadetta's eyes widen and her mouth opens , it looks as if she's gone into a strange trance.

"Do I know you, clown" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It's me Hubert" he says.

"Hubie' she laughs surprised, "what are you doing dressed as a..."

"A CLOWN" Bernadetta screams.

Bernie tackles Hubert to the floor and proceeds to punch him in the head and face, "I'll kill you, you filthy clown" she yells.

Hubert tries to cover his face as best he can.

"Bernadetta, stop this at once" he orders.

Dorothea tries to pull Bernie off of Hubert but she can't even manage to budge her.

"Bernie, it's just Hubert" she yells.

Bernadetta doesn't let up and says Hubert might be creepy but he'd never be a dirty, no good clown.

"You need to stop Bernie" Dorothea pleads, "it's no use" Bernie says, "once I see a clown I can't stop."

Dorothea places her hand over Bernadetta's eyes and the rampaging young woman finally stops her assault on Hubert.

"Hubert" Bernie says with concern, "are you okay, I didn't mean to."

Hubert makes his way to his feet as Dorothea keeps Bernadetta's eyes covered.

Bernie placed her hand over her eyes to block the sight of Hubert before explaining that she had a bad experience with a clown when she was about five and she's hated them ever since.

Hubert checks his face for blood, "I knew you were touched in the head Bernadetta" he says "but this is mad even for you."

Just then a fat man storms in and loudly addresses Hubert, "hey, where have you been" the man asks, "we've been looking everywhere for you."

"I'm afraid you have the wrong clown" Hubert says.

"Guards" the fat man calls, six men armed with spears show up surprisingly fast.

Hubert looks ready to fight but Dorothea steps in to assuage the tensions, "I can vouch for Hubert here" she says with a fake smile, "he is most certainly the right clown."

Dorothea whispers to Hubert, telling him not to cause any problems in the theater.

"You ready" the fat man says impatiently.

Hubert pauses for a moment before responding, "ah, yes of course."

Hubert was led to the stage which was concealed from view via a large curtain.

Hubert stood in front of a long, thin table with a large pink ball, a pile of balloons, a horn, and a massive jack in the box.

The fat man walked off leaving Hubert alone, "what is it you want" he started before being interrupted by the opening of the curtain.

Hubert found himself standing alone on stage with a large audience applauding.

Dorothea and Bernadetta took two seats in the front row, Dorothea had to lead Bernie who was wearing a dark cloth around her eyes to keep her from seeing Hubert.

"What's happening" Bernie asked, "Hubie is about to give what I'm sure will be a very interesting performance" Dorothea answers with a smile.

Hubert's head darts back and forth not sure what to do.

He picks up the horn and honks it, the audience laughs slightly, Dorothea just looks on with her hand over her mouth and a look of unease in her eyes.

"Greetings folks I am the amazing...Clownbert" Hubert said, Dorothea chuckled at Hubert's improvisation.

Hubert moved towards the large jack in the box and began to turn the handle, "I'm certain this will be somewhat amusing" Hubert told the crowd. A large clown head popped out of the box and startled Hubert as well as the audience, "Ahaaa" Hubert yelled before uses a fire spell to blow the galling jack in the box.

"That was terrible" a young man in the crowd calls out, "shut up you fool" Hubert shouts.

He turns to see Dorothea in the front, she rotates both her wrists to signal to him to keep going.

Hubert picks up a few of the balloons provided and asks the audience to call out an animal.

"A wyvern" someone shouts, "a worm you say" Hubert replies, he then proceeds to make an embarrassingly simple elongated shape.

"I give you a worm" Hubert says while taking a bow.

"You suck Clownbert" yells the same annoying young man as before, "that's it, I've had about enough of you" Hubert says harshly before killing the heckler with a Mire spell.

The crowd gasps in horror, "is there anyone else who deems it wise to criticize my performance" Hubert bellows.

"What's going on" Bernadetta asks, "Hubert just killed a man in the audience" Dorothea says lackadaisically while she shakes her head.

Huberts scans the crowd until he finally spots Dorothea.

"Enough of this already" Hubert bemoans, "Dorothea I need you to come with me to the Empire" before he can finish his sentence the annoyger leaps down from the top of the curtain on top of Hubert's head, "Ahhhhaaaa" Hubert yells as the monster bites down on his head.

"These shows have really gone down hill" an old man in the audience states while Hubert struggles to free himself from the grip of the tiny troll.

"Bernie stay here" Dorothea instructs as she stands up and lifts her chair.

Dorothea speedily makes her way to the stage and orders Hubert to keep still.

Just as the annoyger troll's hand starts glowing as he intends to lift the curse, Dorothea cracks the little beast with her chair so hard he goes flying straight into the backstage area.

"We need to get to the Empire and warn Empress Byleth of that beast" Hubert explains.

"Why do you need me for that" Dorothea asks as the crowd looks on not knowing what to think of what's unfolding in front of them.

"Lady Edelgard is not currently in Adrestia and everyone else is too damn stupid to recognize me" he shouts.

Hubert then grabs her arm and escorts her off stage, Dorothea grabs Bernie's arm as the pass her seat, "come on Bernie" Dorothea says, "and whatever you do don't take that blindfold off."

Henry, one of the former nobles conspiring with Halvok, has been seated in the audience watching the whole time, he gets up out of his chair with a cross look on his fat face, "Damn it Halvok" he say aloud before pushing people out of his way to quickly reach the exit.

Hubert, Dorothea, and a still blindfolded Bernadetta get in Dorothea's carriage that is pulled by two horses.

The trio ride off but the troll exits the theater in time to spot them in the distance, he looks around and displays a devious wry when he spies an unattended horse ripe for the picking.

\-----------------------------------

Hubert explains what has transpired to him in the last few hours.

"So that troll made you a clown" Bernadetta asks from the backseat in her typical nervous voice, "if that happened to me I would just die, seriously clowns are the worst thing on Earth."

"I still don't understand" Dorothea says, "If our old professor is the target like you say then why would anyone want her to look like a clown?"

"It's obviously to make everyone hate her" Bernie states, "clowns are evil and should be executed on sight! No offense Hubert."

"Where is Edie right now" Dorothea asks.

"Lady Edelgard is in Brigid to sign a new treaty with Petra."

"Oh that's nice" Dorothea says with a smile, "I haven't seen Petra since the war."

"I think we have more important things to think about right now" Hubert scolds.

"You know Hubie" the songstress says with a sly grin, "for a clown you're not very fun to be around."

\---------------------

"And then he said the Emperor wasn't even currently in the Empire" Henry explains to Halvok who he views from a large crystal ball, "what is the meaning of this Agarthan?"

Halvok tells him that the annoyger must have cursed the Emperor's vassal by mistake and is now hunting him down to remove the curse since it can only cast one Tomfulary hex at a time.

"Well at least the little shit recognizes his mistake" Henry says "but what now, the Emperor isn't even in the Empire." "Did he say where she was" Halvok asks.

"No" Henry answers, "then I'll have to find out myself" Halvok replies.

Halvok storms down a dark and sinister looking hallway to a large door, he swings it open to reveal six Agarthans playing a card game. "Prepare yourselves" he orders "the Empire is without their Emperor and we need to capitalize."  
\----------------------------------------------------------

Hubert, Dorothea, and Bernadetta are riding down a dirt path approaching a rural town.

Dorothea is talking at length about all the awful former nobles who still hit on her at the opera theater, "Edie might have taken their fancy noble titles from them" she says, "but their arrogance sure remains fully intact."

Hubert sits with his hand against his face displaying an expression that clearly demonstrates how insipid he feels Dorothea's ramblings to be.

Hubert looks behind him to spot the annoyger troll riding a horse at full speed towards them.

"That damnable troll" he yells out, "he's still after me."

Hubert snatches the reins from Dorothea's hands and prompts the horse to run faster.

"What's going on" Bernadetta cries out still blindfolded.

"Hubie's troll friend is chasing after us" Dorothea yells back.

"Wow" says Bernie, "he must be really fast."

"He's on horse back" Hubert replies.

"Oh come on" Bernadetta says, "now you're just messing with me aren't you?"

Hubert is forced to stop the horses abruptly when a large mount of earth erects from the ground right in front of them.

The earth begins to form a cave and Halvok steps out wearing a large, green ring on his right hand.

"Whoever you are" Hubert says in a menacing tone, "you had best get out of our way."

"Where is your mistress, vassal" Halvok asks in a cold voice.

"That is not your concern" Hubert shouts "and you will dare not threaten Lady Edelgard or so help me..." Hubert is cut short when the annoyger troll jumps off his horse and on to Hubert's back.

"Goddess damn you troll" he roars.

"Dorothea, Bernadetta, I'm certain you two can deal with the likes of him" Hubert yells before tossing the troll off of him and telling his former classmates he will meet up with them in Adrestia.

Hubert then runs off to avoid the annoyger who jumps up and chases after him.

"Okay" Bernie says angrily "tell me what's happening."

"The troll chased off Hubert after a purple man created a cave on the pathway in front of us" Dorothea explains.

"Cut it out you guys" Bernie whines, "this isn't funny anymore."

Dorothea removes Bernadetta's blindfold allowing her to see Halvok standing in front of them. "Oh" Bernie says, "it looks like you were actually telling the truth."

"Where is the Emperor" Halvok's raspy voice asks sternly.

"Like we'd ever tell you" Dorothea responds with a scowl, as she exits her carriage and walks towards the villain.

"You're the one behind all this aren't you" Dorothea accuses.

"That I am" he says with an evil smile, "now songstress, tell me the whereabouts of your Emperor and you and your friend will be left unharmed."

Dorothea has had enough and hammers Halvok with a thoron attack.

Halvok flies backwards but manages to keep himself floating in the air.

"You are a powerful magic user, my dear" he says sounding impressed with Dorothea's skills, "but I'm afraid your out of your league."

Dorothea unleashes a second thoron attack but Halvok blocks it with his magic ring before hitting her in retaliation with a fireball attack. Dorothea hits the ground with a thud and Bernadetta gasps.

"Th th that's it" Bernie stutters, "you can't do that to Dorothea."

Bernie runs up to the Agarthan but without a weapon she can only strike at him with her fists which amuses the purple fiend.

Halvok grabs Bernadetta by the throat and tells her she and her friend can walk away if she tells him where Emperor Edelgard is.

Bernie's eyes are full of intense fear and the terrified girl shakes as she peers up at Halvok.

He removes his grip on her throat and places his hands on her shoulders, "where is the Emperor" he asks feeling that Bernadetta is far too scared to refuse to answer.

"She's" Bernie utters, "she's..."

"She's where" Halvok yells impatiently.

"She's up your purple backside you no good, clown making freak" Bernadetta screams.

A frustrated Halvok hurls Bernie into a tree which knocks her out.

Dorothea is back up and tosses a magic fire ball at Halvok but he quickly dodges it before hitting Dorothea with a beam of light from his ring that binds the young woman in place.

"Let me out of this" she yells as she thrashes to get free.

"You're coming with me, you discourteous little harlot" Halvok says stridently.

"That is no way to speak to a lady" Dorothea reprimands, "what are you a former noble."

Halvok scoops up Dorothea in his left arm and places his right hand over her mouth to keep her quiet, "shut up already" he orders as he carries her towards the opening of his newly formed cave.

Dorothea can do nothing but release muffled vitriol as she's forcefully taken away.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the castle, the six Agarthans who spoke with Halvok, enter a large room that's dank and full of massive chests.

The lone female of the group is a green haired young woman with dark lip stick and orange eyes.

She seems to relish beholding the many treasures stored inside this forbidden area.

She spots old statues and art pieces made of solid gold and becomes captivated by them, "these must be worth a vast fortune" she says.

"Were here for the weapons" one of her comrades reminds her.

That comrade was a tall and strong looking fellow with white hair and black eyes, he seemed to be in charge of the operation, he also had a menacing look on his face as if something pissed him off once and his bad mood some how became permanent.

One of the other men comes across Aymr, the powerful holy relic wielded by the Emperor herself, one of the weapons along with the Sword Of The Creator that slew the all powerful Immaculate One.

"Look, I've found the Emperor's holy relic" the man declares.

The white haired leader tells the group that the other relics must be here as well.

"Hey check these out" a spiky haired Agarthan calls out.

He tosses his other comrades except for the female who is on the other side of the large room, a stone each. "What are these" the leader asks, "these must be the Crest Stones" the spiky haired man replies, "I hear if you smash one it will give you super powers."

The female member of the group isn't so certain about his claim, "you shouldn't mess around with those" she warns.

"Oh come on Kalin" the spiky haired man says come give it a try."

The men slam the stones to the floor which wakes up Linhardt who was napping behind a large chest.

"What is going on" the young man says with a yawn.

The men start transforming into demonic beasts in front of Linhardt's eyes.

"AAAHA" he yells out, "I bet I'll get blamed for this."

Kalin, seeing her comrades become foul monsters, dawns a look of fear before she bolts out the door with Linhardt following behind her.

The two split up and go separate ways, "I need to find Edelgard" Linhardt yells in a panic, not aware of the Emperor's absence.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Inside an underground cave equipped with doors and storage area, Halvok enters a storage room with muffled cries echoing behind him, he spots a box approximately 2 feet by 2 feet with nearly a foot in depth. Halvok carries the box under his left arm and exits the room.

The captive Dorothea is laying down on what appears to be a torture table, her wrists and ankles and locked in place with thick shackles and she is gagged with a dark cloth.

Halvok approaches the helpless Dorothea and places the box on a table next to her, all the while she utters what are clearly expletives and threats under the cloth.

Halvok removes Dorothea's gag allowing her to speak.

"Let me go or I swear I'm going to blast the mustache right off your wretched purple face" she threatens with a hostile glare in her eyes.

"I suggest you learn to be more amenable foolish girl" Halvok says.

"You better let me go freak" Dorothea says with intensity, "I'm a personal friend of the Emperor and if you lay a finger on me she'll lay waste to you just like the rest of your underground buddies."

Halvok laughs in amusement.

"Since you wish to speak of your friend the Emperor" he says with a crude smirk, "then how about you tell me her whereabouts, keep in mind failure to do so will lead to great suffering."

"I'm not afraid of you" Dorothea insists even though a look of dismay can be seen underneath her bravado.

Halvok opens the box and warns his captive that the body parts of horrifying beast are stored inside to loosen the tongues of the most stubborn prisoner.

Dorothea struggles slightly showing her increased nervousness.

Halvok open the box and pulls out a claw from a giant wolf.

He informs Dorothea that her pretty little flesh could easily be ripped to pieces with such an object.

Dorothea desperately tries to conceal her growing sense of dread.

Halvok places the claw back inside the box and picks up the tooth of a wild demonic beast.

Halvok stares in Dorothea's eyes and tells her that a small scratch from the monster's tooth can infect her with a poison so toxic it will cause her unimaginable pain, and close her airwaves.

Dorothea despite her angst tells Halvok that if her airwaves close up she won't be able to utter a word and he'll never know where Edie is.

"Clever aren't you" Halvok says.

"Alright then" the Agarthan says "I know just the thing."

Halvok removes Dorothea's shoes, "hey" she yells, "those shoes are really expensive you creep."

Halvok then pulls out the last torture tool in his box, a stiff feather from a giant bird."

"A feather" Dorothea laughs confidently "and what are you going to..." before she can finish it becomes clear to Dorothea what Halvok has planned.

"No" she says with eyes widened, "no no no, you better not" Dorothea struggles to get loose to no avail, "get that out of your mind right nowooooowwww ha haaaaaaaaaa!!"

Dorothea burst into laughter as Halvok starts tickling her right foot with the massive feather. "You sure are ticklish aren't you songstress" he mocks, "perhaps you'd be wise to tell me where Emperor Edelgard is."

"HA HA HA HA AH cut that out or I swear Edie will hear of this" Dorothea yells out.

Dorothea thrashes like a mad woman as the mean spirited Halvok tickles her nonstop.

As the poor woman laughs uncontrollably as her denuded feet dart back and forth, Halvok warns Dorothea this is no laughing matter.

In a loud voice he hopes can be heard over Dorothea's panicked laughter, Halvok tells her that soon enough she won't be able to breathe and will pass out only for him to wake her up and torment her some more until she talks.

The threats and continuous tickling are enough to break the songstress' stoic front and she begins screaming for help.

Halvok laughs and tells Dorothea none of her friends can hear her, "the Emperor's vassal is probably being torn apart by the annoyger troll as we speak and the purple haired girl sure as hell can't save you" he ridicules, "that foolish girl couldn't save money."

After several minutes of laughing, Dorothea's face is beat red, "please stop" the beautiful opera singer pleads, "please no more, I beg you!!!!!"

With the tough woman's pride slipping away Halvok thinks he's finally broken his captive, "tell me where your Emperor is and this can all be over" he promises.

"Never" she yells through her laughing fit, "I'll never betray Edie no matter what."

Halvok's face morphs into a nasty grimace and he speeds up the feather and switches back and forth constantly between Dorothea's left and right foot. The hapless Dorothea's laughter echos through the dank underground locale and shows no signs of letting up.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hubert is running as fast as he can but as he turns he spies the annoyger troll on his tail. When he sees a cornfield, Hubert hopes he can loose the horrible monster in it's thick maze.

Hubert rushes through the maze and ducks down low and prepares a fireball to blast his devilish pursuer.

Hubert listens carefully for the troll but can't hear him, perhaps he's finally managed to shake the vexing little bastard.

Hubert is then suddenly tackled from behind by the crafty troll and the two of them break multiple stocks of corn. Hubert gets to his feet and the troll lunges straight towards him, Hubert however sends a fireball crashing into the annoyger and it jettisons backwards and lands hard on the ground but is able to pop back up unharmed.

Hubert remembered that magical creatures tend to be highly resistant against magic and he would need something else to rid him of this monster.

As Hubert emerged from the cornfield he saw just the thing he needed.

There among several other fruits and vegetables as a large row of Monodon fruits, the ones his mother told him about, using a light spark of magic Hubert as able to slice one of the fruits in half and spotted the black seeds.

The troll rushed towards Hubert and his claw began to glow, ready to release Hubert from the Tomfulary curse.

"Wait" Hubert yelled as he held up a black seed, "I hear your kind is partial to this seeds are you not."

The troll smiles with delight and swiftly snatches the seed and eats it.

"Ha" Hubert cries out in victory, "you are now under my control, foul creature."

Hubert orders the annoyger troll to stop trying to remove his curse. The little creature shrugs his green shoulders and shakes his head in affirmation. A breathless Hubert smiles in relief.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Back on the pathway, Bernadetta finally regains consciousness. "Dorothea" she calls out, "Dorothea where are you." Bernie looks frantic when no one answers her call, "oh no Bernie you've done it now" the girl says to herself out loud, "you got beat up my a mean purple guy and he probably has done something horrible to Dorothea."

Meanwhile Hubert is walking side by side with the annoyger troll, "tell me you incorrigible beast" he says, "why were you targeting Lady Byleth."

"They told me to find the lady in the Empire that ran the Empire" the strange creature replied in a raspy and grating voice.

"Lady Byleth doesn't run the Empire you fool" Hubert says while shaking his head.

"I get to Empire in the mail and then I see woman everyone likes called Empress which sounds like Emperor" the odd monster explains. Hubert stops in his tracks when he suddenly has an epiphany.

Bernadetta is pacing back and forth wondering what to do, "if Dorothea is missing then the evil guy must have taken her" she says, "that sicko is probably having his way with her right now, or maybe he's already chopped her head off and is eating her organs and it's all my fault!"

Bernadetta breaks down and starts crying, "poor Dorothea" she sobs, "she was too young to have her organs eaten."

"Bernadetta" Hubert calls out forgetting her less than stable reaction to him as a clown.

"You" Bernadetta yells, "you no good clown, this was all your idea wasn't it?"

Hubert tries to calm Bernie down by telling her she needs to remember that her clown fear is irrational.

"That's the type of lie I expect a disgusting clown would tell" Bernie says as she walks towards Hubert who backs up slowly.

"Tell me Hubert were you really turned into a clown or were you one all along" Bernadetta asks in a rage filled voice, Hubert reaches into his pocket and grabs one of the many Monodon seeds he recovered earlier.

Hubert hands the seed to the troll and tells him he may require his assistance, the troll eats the seed as Bernie runs towards Hubert with violent intentions. The annoyger creates a force field that prevents Bernadetta from attacking Hubert.

Bernie cracks the magic bulwark with her fists, "get out here and die Hubert" she commands.

"Bernadetta I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a clown but that has nothing to do with be" Hubert says sternly.

Bernie drops to her knees and covers her face and starts to weep.

"When I was five my friend had a clown at her birthday party and he told me to pull his finger" Bernie says wiping away tears, "I thought he was going to do something funny but when I pulled his finger he released a foul stench that melted the cake and popped every balloon."

Hubert tells Bernadetta that he will certainly not do any such thing as that.

"I'm sorry Hubert" Bernie says rubbing her eyes "I never should have taken my pain out on you or any of those other clowns that mysteriously went missing."

Hubert nods at the troll who removes the magic barrier.

Hubert asks Bernie where Dorothea is, Bernadetta says she doesn't know but she thinks that the evil purple man took her down in that creepy cave.

Hubert tells Bernadetta that she needs to find Dorothea and head to Adrestia without him.

"What" Bernie yells, "why, I promise I won't try to kill you this time."

Hubert explains that this isn't about her, "Lady Byleth isn't the target" Hubert explains, "after using Monodon seeds to take control of this troll I believe his target was suppose to be lady Edelgard and thus I must get to Brigid."

Hubert walks towards the carriage, "what about Dorothea" Bernie whimpers as she follows behind him.

As Hubert hops on the horse the annoyger stole he explains to Bernie that she will have to find Dorothea.

Hubert Then looks down at the troll, "you're coming with me" he orders, the troll folds his arms, Hubert reaches for another seed and tosses It to the annoyger, who happily pops it in his mouth before jumping on the horse in front of Hubert.

"Head into the cave and recover Dorothea Bernadetta" Hubert instructs, "you can do this."

Bernadetta's heart sinks as Hubert rides off leaving her to face whatever lurks inside the foreboding cave.

\--------------------------------------------------

Back at the palace, Ferdinand tells Caspar and Byleth about how he bested Edelgard in a game of rock paper scissors when they were children.

"She may have defeated me twelve times in a row" he explains, "but on the thirteenth try she foolishly selected scissors just as I picked rock" he laughs boastfully, "that is how I knew I was far superior to her."

Abruptly Lindhardt runs in looking distraught and struggling to catch his breath.

"Linhardt" Caspar says, "you seem more active than usual."

"Where's Edelgard" he yells out in a panic."

She's in Brigid right now" Byleth says.

"You guys have to come quick" Lindhardt says frantically, "there's demonic beasts in the castle.

Lindhardt takes Byleth, Caspar, and Ferdinand to the castle's secret storage room where as he explains to his friends, he fell asleep when he was studying the relics and awoke to Agarthans turning into demonic beasts.

Byleth and her former students notice soldiers who were on guard are laying dead on the floor and the once sealed room's door is open.

Byleth steps inside to see the far wall has been destroyed and has become a wide tunnel to the outside.

"The monsters" Lindhardt cries out "they're loose in the city."

"We need to hunt them down now" Byleth orders, she kicks open one of the chests and pulls out the Sword Of The Creator.

"El will be really angry about this monster business" Byleth says, "but at least I get to use my favorite weapon one last time."

\-------------------------------------

Bernadetta cautiously makes her way further and further into the dark cave, the young woman's hands are together in prayer as she moves forward with great trepidation.

"Dear Goddess" Bernie prays, "please don't let me die in this spooky cave, and please let Dorothea be okay."

Bernie comes across a metallic square on the floor of the cave that measures six feet by six feet. Although she isn't sure what it is, Bernadetta knows it may be important in finding her lost friend and so she steps on the square.

The metallic surface of the square glows and before she can leap off, Bernie teleports to another area.

Bernie steps into a dark corridor, "this must be how those weirdos move around Fodlan" she posits.

Bernie forces herself to keep traversing forward, "Dorothea" she whispers, "Dorothea it's me Bernie, are you down here?"

Suddenly Bernadetta can hear screaming up ahead, she is utterly terrified but the screams may be coming from Dorothea, what horrors were being inflicted on the unfortunate singer.

Bernie moved forward more quickly than before until she hastily came to a stop and listened more carefully. Was that screaming or hysterical laughter?

Meanwhile, Dorothea's bare feet were getting no reprieve from Halvok's enormous, black feather that kept stroking her pale white soles with harsh vigor.

Dorothea's long toes wiggle wildly and her stomach feels as if it had been punched multiple times. If it wasn't for her tenacity and powerful lung capacity from years as an opera singer, she'd of broken long ago.

"So help me Goddess" Dorothea cries out while laughing heavily, "if you make me pee myself I'm going to blast you in the nuts."

Halvok paid no attention to the songstress' threats and kept tickling her.

"I'll give you free opera tickets for any show you want" Dorothea screams now trying to bargain her way out of her torture, "you can get into any show free of charge I swear."

Halvok ignores her petty bribery, although he was some what tempted by her offer to give him a lap dance backstage.

After laughing for nearly forty minutes nonstop, Dorothea felt as if she was going to be sick and couldn't take another second of this hell.

"Brigid' she managed to utter with what little air she had left, "Edelgard is in Brigid."

Halvok finally stops tickling Dorothea and asks her why the Emperor is in Brigid.

As a tear falls from Dorothea's cheek and she catches a breath she replies "she, she went to sign a treaty, I'm telling the truth I swear."

Dorothea shut her eyes as shame overwhelmed her in that moment. "Forgive me Edie" she said softly, "I tried."

Halvok returns the feather to the box and carries it back to storage.

"Hey" Dorothea yells out, "I told you what you wanted to know, now let me go."

"I'm afraid I can't do that just yet my dear" Halvok answers.

The guileful woman decides to conjure up a new tactic, with the aid of the tears she shed laughing and lamenting her defeat, Dorothea pretends to cry.

"Oh please sir" she begs with fake sobs, "I'm just a humble opera singer, surely you can find it in your heart to spare a helpless woman and let me go free."

"I hope your acting on the stage is better than this" Halvok says as he makes his way back towards her.

Halvok tells Dorothea he will release her from the table but if she were to be set free right now she'd ruin his plans, "not to worry" he says, "there is plenty of space around here to keep a trollop like you out of trouble until I get back."

Bernadetta is still making her way through the darkness and worries when she can no longer hear any laughter.

"Oh no" Bernie says "whatever's going on I sure wish I had a weapon right now."

Bernie comes to the end of the long corridor and finds herself in an open well lit area with several different passages, before she can pick a pathway she hears footsteps speedily approaching and hides behind a corner.

The frightened girl's eyes display her horror when Halvok walks past her.

Bernie covers her mouth so she doesn't scream and steps further back into the darkness in hopes of not being seen.

Halvok opens a door across from Bernadetta and walks inside.

Bernie wants badly to run away but she remembers that Dorothea is likely down here and she can't leave her regardless of how fearful she is.

Halvok exits the room with a long spear in his hand, Bernie covers her eyes and prays to Sothis that he doesn't spot her, Bernie even starts shaking with her hands locked together.

"With all her inner strength, Bernadetta opens her eyes and hears Halvok walking off in the direction of the cave's opening, "he must be leaving" she thought.

Bernie felt she needed to look inside of that room to see if her friend was being held inside, it required all of the purple haired girl's courage to simply walk up and open the door.

Inside, the room was filled with weapons, some of which Bernie had never seen before, but as she scanned the area their was one weapon she was very familiar with, a bow with a quiver of arrows.

Bernie left the room with far more confidence due to the bow she now held her hand, if anyone down here tried to hurt her or Dorothea, they'd learn the hard way that Bernie was highly adroit when it came to firing a bow.

Quickly Bernadetta made her way down the hall Halvok had just came from. She called out Dorothea's name hoping desperately to hear a reply.

In the storage area where Halvok stashed his torture box, Dorothea is sitting on the floor tied up with rope, her hands and tied tightly behind her back and her upper body and ankles are bound as well, the songstress is once again gagged with the same dark cloth as before.

Dorothea struggled with all her strength and energy but her bindings were too fastidiously fastened for her to get free, she thought of making as much noise as possible in hopes someone would hear her, but that plan was curtailed by her realization that the only people who would be wandering this deplorable place would be other Agarthans who she didn't trust in the slightest.

"The last thing I need is to have to have one of those underground jerks find me like this" Dorothea thought to herself.

Just as things are looking grim for her, Dorothea hears Bernadetta calling her name.

Dorothea's eyes widen with new found hope and she tries her damnedest to yell out to her friend, "bbmm mmma, mm mn mmhm" she yells out.

When Dorothea hears Bernie's voice still calling out to her she figures that Bernadetta likely doesn't hear her.

Dorothea uses her feet to help her slide over to the door on her backside, when she's close enough she turns, leans back, and uses her bound feet to kick the door as hard as she can.

"Aaaah" Bernie yells as she gets startled by the noise.

Bernie draws her bow thinking whatever is behind that banging must be sinister.

Bernie walks over to the door the loud noise is coming from, "if your a monster and you ate Dorothea I'm going to make you pay" she yells out before pulling the door open and aiming her bow at....

"Dorothea" Bernie yells, "I'm sorry I almost shot you."

Dorothea's muffled cries of irritation are not clear but are likely words of admonishment.

Bernadetta takes off Dorothea's gag and asks her if she's okay.

"I'm okay now that your here Bernie" she smiles.

Overcome with emotion, Bernadetta tears up and hugs her friend tightly. "I thought you were dead" Bernie says.

"Bernie" Dorothea says.

"I thought they were eating your flesh and drinking your blood" Bernie rambles,

"Bernie" Dorothea repeats more sternly.

"I thought they were decorating their evil lair with your entrails" she continued.

"BERNADETTA" Dorothea yells.

"I'm glad to see you too, but right now I really need you to untie me."

Bernie tells her friend she's sorry and gets to work untying her.

\------------------------------------------

The Adrestian Empire is now under siege from five demonic beasts that have broken out of the castle.

The leader of the group of Agarthan thieves has turned into a wild demonic beast while the others became a flying demonic beast, an experimental demonic beast, and the last two became giant wolves.

The monsters spread panic and destruction swiftly as imperial guards attempt to fight them off with very little success.

As things start to look bleak, Byleth rushes towards the monsters with the Sword Of The Creator in hand and Ferdinand, Caspar, and Lindhardt at her side.

"There will be no monster monkey business in the Empire while I'm Empress" she yells out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was far longer than I thought it would be. A few things that were suppose to happen had to be pushed back to the third chapter which will likely be the last.
> 
> Edelgard and Petra were suppose to be featured in this chapter and Lysithea was suppose to have a brief cameo, it will work out for Lysithea since I decided she'll be featured more promptly in the next chapter.
> 
> -In this chapter I introduce Hubert's mother who is a powerful magic user. I always saw Hubert as an emo kid in the early 2000's who spends time in his mom's basement concocting evil schemes while his mom makes him pizza pockets.
> 
> -I felt if any of the characters would be afraid of clowns it would be Bernadetta.
> 
> -My first fiction I posted was X rated and there was a very brief moment where Edelgard was playfully tickled by Byleth and someone in the comments wanted to see Dorothea in an erotic situation similar to the one that El found herself in during that story. The commenter also asked for more tickling. Although I don't plan on making any more sexual stories, her being tickled like in an old cartoon sounded cute, especially since I didn't want to have anything brutal to happen her when she's kidnapped because I wanted the story to be lighthearted despite Hubert having some dark memories. I also love Dorothea as a character and could never allow anything too horrible to happen to her.
> 
> -I may have taken Ferdinand's need to compete with Edelgard a little far and I apologize if anyone reading this pictured him in lingerie small enough to fit Edelgard. 
> 
> -No matter how unpopular it may be, I do plan on finishing this. Sorry.


	3. Some More Shit Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and company have to fight off monsters, Edelgard and Petra's treaty signing doesn't go well, and Hubert gets very annoyed by the annoyger troll.

Byleth stood with the Sword of The Creator in her hand and her friends at her side just as she had during the war. If the situation weren't so dire she'd feel almost nostalgic.

"Caspar" Byleth shouted, "take down that wolf" she pointed with the end of her holy blade. "Got it" the blue haired man said with great exhilaration. "Lindhardt, take the bird out of the sky" Byleth ordered, "Ferdinand finish it when it hits the ground."

Ferdinand readies is lance, "I am Ferdinand Von Aegir" he said with a confident smile. "Why must you say your own name every time you're about to fight" Caspar asks, "if you were me" Ferdinand says, "you would too."

The flying demonic beast is being assaulted by a fury of arrows fired by the knights that have swiftly rushed to defend the Empire.

The massive bird like creature fired several of it's feathers a few of which hit and kill knights on the ground. Lindhardt attacked with a cutting gale spell but it only seemed to annoy the soaring monster. Ferdinand tells Lindhardt to go for the wings.

Lindhardt uses an excalibur attack with a focus on the monster's left wing. The beast collapses to the ground and Ferdinand plunges his lance into the creature's head.

Caspar quickly makes a beeline for one of the wolf monsters who was coming dangerously close to Lysithea's coffee shop, the Fellstar Bucks.

Inside the Fellstar Bucks, Lysithea is standing beside an employee as they look over the vast earnings they've made due mostly to Byleth's appearance earlier in the day. "In one day we've already come closer to making a profit than I hoped we would have in a month" Lysithea says with a smile.

Lysithea's joy is instantly squashed when the giant wolf slashes through the front wall of the Fellstar Bucks. The shocked girl can only stand with her pink eyes wide open in disbelief.

Caspar, although unable to save the coffee shop did manage to reach the monstrosity before it attacked anyone and the intrepid young man slashed the wolf with his powerful silver axe. The oversize canid slashed at Caspar with it's menacing claws that proved strong enough to tear through his armor, but luckily Caspar's body was unharmed.

Caspar raised his shield to guard against the savage wolf but the creature gripped the shield in his mouth and lifted it off the ground along with Caspar who still had a hold of it. Caspar was slammed into the ground violently, "this is really not working out how I pictured it" he says with a groan.

Lysithea steps out of the Fellstar Bucks with an apoplectic glare in her pink eyes. "You stupid dumb dog" she yells out before attacking the hairy beast with a dark spike magic spell. The creature lets out a roar and turns to Lysithea allowing Caspar time to get back up.

Lysithea quickly realizes that she may have made a crucial mistake. "Nice doggy" she says nervously in hopes of calming the beast as her magic again builds up.

Caspar cuts off the wolf's back leg with a brutal swing of his axe, the hellacious monster howls and tries to turn his attention back to Caspar but the blue haired warrior jabs him in the side with the end of his axe which causes the creature to bleed out.

Lysithea strikes again with dark spikes and Caspar batters his foe's head with his weapon. The large furry head of the wold drops to the ground and Caspar places his axe over his shoulder in victory. "Thanks for the help Lysithea" he says while making a fist in enthusiasm. The wolf's eyes open and Lysithea blasts him in the face with a fire ball to finally kill the abomination. "I hate these monsters" she yells, "they're worse than ghost." Lysithea kicks the dead wolf as Caspar looks on not knowing what to say.

Byleth stood in between the other giant wolf and the experimental demonic beast. The Empress used her powerful holy relic to slash both monsters which was more than enough to set them off.

When the demonic beast attempted to strike Byleth with it's long and powerful tail, she was able to jump over it with the use of her incredible leg strength. The demonic beast's enormous tail may have missed Byleth, but it ended up delivering a thunderous blow to the wolf's head.

The wolf was temporarily stunned and the beast staggered backwards. When it regained it's focus, the wolf lunged forward but the swift Empress dodged and the giant wolf crashed into the experimental demonic beast. Both monsters then started brutally biting and battering each other in a furious showdown of giants.

Byleth saw her former students making their way towards her to assist in the battle but Byleth raised her hand to indicate to them that they needed to stop and let her deal with this.

Byleth stood and watched the creatures battle each other with her typical dead pan stare.

The Monsters both are covered in blood and look as if they are about to discontinue fighting when Byleth leaps into the fray and hacks both savage creatures to death with a few lightening fast strikes of her sword.

As the creatures lay dead on the ground a wounded knight calls out to the Empress. Byleth and the students rush in to help the injured man. "Empress" he says struggling to catch his breath, "there is one more demonic beast, we tried to kill it but failed." Seeing more knights approaching Byleth ordered them to help the bleeding man in front of her who could hardly stand. "We have one more to deal with" Byleth says as she looks back at her former students which now includes Lysithea who still has an angry look on her face.

\---------------------------------------------

Underground, Halvok stood in front of dozens of Agarthans. "The time has come for us to get revenge on the vile Emperor who betrayed us" his voice echoed like thunder displaying his utter hatred for Edelgard.

"We the Agarthans have given so much to Edelgard Von Hresvelg" he said sternly yet somberly, "we gave her power beyond that of any other Adrestian, we placed her on the thrown, and I myself even gave her a Christmas card despite my loathing of that holiday." "That ungrateful bitch probably didn't even read it" one of the Agarthans yelled, "yeah fuck the Emperor," another yells out, "she's probably a slut" a third voice declares, "she's really pretty" adds a forth. Halvok is a little taken back by the last statement, "ah yes she is a pretty young lady but we're focusing on negative things right now" Halvok says, "oh, sorry" the voice replies before adding "she's, she's a fascist." "Well, that's not remotely true" Halvok says, "but you can spread that around if it helps you to hate her."

"Our numbers have dwindled and our hearts have been broken by this woman" Halvok continues, "but we Agarthans are a proud people and we will not be dissuaded from our goals." The Agarthans let out a cheer with their weapons raised in the air.

"My friends" Halvok states, "I have a vision of the future were Emperor Edelgard is no longer admired by the people of Fodlan, a world where Edelgard looses her crown, where she is spat on and mocked by everyone, she will cry herself to sleep every night in whatever ditch she can find to slumber in, there will be no more fan fictions or fan art made by lesbians online, Christina Vee will drop to her knees and praise Sothis every day for not having her voice linked to such a horrible character, those Goddess awful weebs at the anime conventions will demand Tara Platt commit seppuku on stage, and worst of all her beloved Fell Star will abandon her and tell her to her face that she wished she picked Blue Lions and married Dimitri instead."

The Agarthans cheer Halvok's motivational speech with great excitement. "Now on to Brigid to pay the Emperor a visit" Halvok orders.  
\------------------------------------------------------

Edelgard's carriage finally arrives at Brigid, the Emperor steps out without her crown now that Byleth has made her self-conscious about it.

El looks out at the beautiful sandy beaches laid out in front of her. A group of older people all with tanned skin and red hair typical of the Brigid citizens.

The group approaching all wore garbs that identified them as high counsel members. Edelgard neared the group and they stepped aside and dropped to one knee leaving Queen Petra standing directly in front of the newly arrived Emperor. Petra was wearing garb that was simulacrum to what Edelgard was used to seeing her wear, but with the addition of a gold cape and a golden headdress.

The head counsel kneel before the Adrestian Emperor as does Petra. "Welcome Emperor Edelgard" Petra says with enthusiasm, "it gives me much joy to see you again." "Petra stand" El says with a smile, "you are under no obligation to bow to me, least of all in your country."

Petra stands up and Edelgard embraces her in a hug, as Petra hugs her back the surrounding onlookers are moved. After being oppressed by the Adrestian Empire for so long it was a beautiful sight to witness an Emperor embracing their Queen not just as an equal but as a friend.

Hand in hand Edelgard and Petra approach a group of massive Brigid men who wore nothing but a brown garment covering their genitals although not very well.

The corpulent men who had to be at least 300 pounds each began dancing in a strange manner, "this is the welcoming dance of Brigid" Petra smiled.

Edelgard forced a smile as the hefty men started slapping each other's backsides as if they were playing drums. "Your Great Grandfather once said the people of Brigid were the worst drummers in all of Fodlan" Petra explained, "so he banned us from having access to drums of any sort, thus my people created this musical technique." "The first thing on the agenda is to abolish that law" Edelgard stated as she leaned in towards Petra.

"Stoop pid sloat, stoop pid sloat" the men chanted, "Emperor is stoop pid sloat." "What did they call me" El asks Petra, "stoop pid sloat in Brigidese means woman of great beauty" Petra explains.

"Emperor's a dum hor, Emperor's a dum hor" the fat men chanted. Petra explains that the term "dum hor" means fine leader.

When the men have finished Edelgard claps and bows politely. "You must be seeing the customs of Brigid as odd from the one's you're used to" Petra said to the Emperor. "They are certainly different" Edelgard said in the most well mannered way possible, "usually when an Emperor arrives" Petra says, "the fattest men in Brigid wrestle in pig droppings while wearing women's under garments on their heads." El's face displayed a surprised and uneasy look. "I am having a joke" Petra giggled, El let out a laugh of relief, "we do not do that anymore" Petra said.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Byleth and the gang are quickly looking for the final demonic beast hoping to stop it before the behemoth can cause any casualties.

"Do we really need to search for the last monster" Lindhardt asks, "I'm sure the knights will take care of it." As they turned the corner the wild demonic beast was standing over a hundred or more dead knights, the monster turned to spot the former classmates and spat a suit of armor in their direction. "You mean those knights" Byleth asks Lindhardt.

The wild demonic beast may have been bigger than any other the team had ever faced and it was clearly unfazed by the knights it had just made short work of.

Byleth was not going to be intimidated by the monster and rushed towards it with her sword. The powerful woman slashed at the ugly beast but the creature was not seeming to be bothered by the strikes from the holy weapon.

Caspar, Ferdinand, and Lindhardt surrounded the monster, it was clear that they knew each other well and were a well trained combat unit that had been in fights like this before thus they immediately knew what to do.

Lysithea stood well behind Byleth just as she did during most of the battles she fought in when the war was occurring. Lysithea was an extremely powerful magic user but was a small girl who would have been weighed down by heavy armor, therefore she couldn't survive brutal attacks the way the very powerful Empress could.

Lindhardt used his most powerful magic attacks to strike the left side of the beast. The monster turned to Lindhardt and Ferdinand rushed in and plowed his lance into the creature's neck from the other side.

Caspar dropped his ax down on the monster's tail in hopes of weakening it since demonic creatures such as this often had tail strikes that were lightening fast and powerful enough to level an oncoming battalion with ease.

The next attacks came from Lysithea who let loose her magic assault full force and Byleth who thrusted the Sword Of The Creator forward into the horrible reptile's head.

This combination of attacks would often lead to a large monster dropping to the ground dead, but this beast was only enraged. The reptile used the side of his head to swat Lindhardt like a bug, it used it's tail to strike Caspar who brought his shield up for protection but was still launched backwards like he had been shot out of a cannon, and Ferdinand was knocked to the ground by the vile beast's poisonous substance it spat from it's mouth.

Ferdinand was lucky enough to have avoided having the toxin touch his bare skin but the force of the liquid was enough to make him feel as if he was gored by a bull.

Byleth jumped through the air and tried to slash her gruesome foe, but the monster captured her in his mighty jaws and bites down on the Empress.

Byleth let out a cry of pain which was not like the stoic woman to do.

Lysithea used more magic attacks in hopes the creature would release Byleth but instead the monster stomped the earth so hard it created a shock wave that knocked the small girl over.

When all looked hopeless, an arrow hit the monster's left eye, although it hardly flinched three more arrows crashed into the beast's eye one after another in rapid succession.

The monster relinquished Byleth and the former professor held her ribs that were bleeding badly. The beast turned and saw Bernadetta and Dorothea approaching. "Leave our professor alone" Dorothea yells as she releases a meteor attack.

The stunned monster is then attacked by Lindhardt's magic and stumbles back before once again having Ferdinand's lance plunged in it's neck.

The creature is now bleeding heavily and looks to be overwelmed by his attackers. Caspar then lowers his ax in the monster's lower back and it lets out a bellow before Byleth stands up and with what little strength she has left unleashes the Raptured Heaven attack that butchers the giant abomination into a myriad of pieces.

After killing the wild demonic beast, Byleth drops to one knee and holds her ribs. Dorothea rushes to her aid and she and Lysithea hold up the Empress.

"Professor, I mean Empress" Dorothea says in a panic, "are you okay?" Byleth says she's a quick healer and will be just fine, the Empress however is more curious about the arrival of Dorothea and Bernadetta.

"What are you two doing here" Byleth asks "not that I'm complaining." Bernadetta tells Byleth that some crazy things have happened and they need to talk to her. Byleth says they can talk inside the castle.

Byleth makes her way to the castle's entrence with help from Lysithea and Dorothea and her former students close behind. Suddenly she spots the gatekeeper running towards her, "Empress" he yells out in concern, "are you alright." "Not to worry Dennis" Byleth says, "I'll be just fine." "Wish we could say the same for all those knights" Caspar said with his hand on his head and his eyes peering down at the ground.

The gatekeeper tells Byleth that a suspicious green haired woman was captured when the knight saw her running from the castle. "I saw a green haired woman in the castle's secret storage room" Lindhardt says as he slaps his own head clearly upset at himself for not remembering to mention that earlier, "she was the only Agarthan that didn't transform into a demonic beast." "Well it's a good thing that foul woman was caught by our fine soldiers of the Adrestian army" Ferdinand says.

"Bring her to the conference room and tie her up" Byleth instructs the gatekeeper, "I want to question her myself."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------

In his private moments Hubert had pondered what lay ahead of him should he survive the war, he thought of the Adrestian Empire and it's people, he wondered what Lady Edelgard would have to face after defeating the Church Of Seiros and the Agarthans and what role he'd have to play.

Hubert prepared to have rebels killed, he prepared for backlash by members of the fallen nobility, but never did he think he would ever be riding on a stolen horse with a small and very ugly creature in front of him while dawning a clown suit he was unable to remove.

As the horse walked the annoyger troll thought the sound of it's hooves were somewhat reminiscent to that of a musical beat and the green monster began to bob his head from left to right.

"Must you continue to make a fool of yourself" Hubert snapped after only ten seconds of watching the irritating beast who was seated in front of him near the head of the stolen equine.

The annoyger ignored Hubert and started waving his arms in the air and swaying from side to side coming close to hitting Hubert in the head. "Goddess damn you, you abhorrent creature" Hubert yelled "keep yourself still until we reach Brigid."

The troll stop dancing and looked around, "is this Brigid" he asked. "No" Hubert replied with a look on his face that was highly likely the one he made when about to kill someone, "Brigid is a ways away."

It was less than a minute later when the troll asked "are we there now?" Hubert looked down at the foul troll trying his hardest to not hurl it to the ground and have the horse stomp it into a green paste. "No we are not" Hubert said, "I told you it was a ways away."

The troll scratched it's head and looked around hoping to see something that would indicate they were nearing a new area, maybe homes or a rock formation. "Are we there now" the creature asked. Hubert stopped the horse and grabbed the annoyger by the ears and lifted him in the air. "Listen well, troll" Hubert said in a menacing tone, "If you want anymore seeds then all you need to do is shut your vile, disgusting mouth until I tell you, understood?" The troll smiled and gave Hubert a thumbs up.

Hubert harshly placed the troll back on the horse, if he hadn't realized why the beast was known as an annoyger, Hubert certainly did now.  
\---------------------------------------------------------

Back at the Empire, the group is gathered around in the conference room with the exception of Byleth, Dorothea, and Bernadetta. "I can't believe it" Caspar says while shaking his head, "all this time the Gatekeeper's name was Dennis." "After everything that happened, that's what's on your mind" Lindhardt asks in a scolding tone. "Well" Caspar replies, "everybody knew him as the Gatekeeper, all these years I never knew he even had a name." "Well obviously he has a name" Ferdinand states, "his parents wouldn't have named him Gatekeeper.... unless they felt he was somehow destined to be a gatekeeper."

"Who cares about the name of the guard" Lysithea yells, "how can you simpletons prattle on about something so irrelevant when the Fellstar Bucks has a wall missing because of one of those ugly, no good monsters."

Lysithea walks over to the other end of the conference room with a nasty glower on her face. Kalin the captured Agarathan is sitting bound to a chair.

Kalin's upper body is tightly tethered with ropes to the back of the chair, her hands are tied together behind the back of the chair and her ankles are bound to the chair legs.

Lysithea glares at her with her hands balled up in fists, "you" she says in an accusatory voice, "you're responsible for this aren't you?"

A cloth is wrapped tightly around the Agarthan woman's mouth disallowing her from uttering a word in her own defense. Instead she simply gazes back at Lysithea. Lysithea removes Kalin's gag, "you better start explaining yourself" the white haired girl orders,"or there'll be consequences so help me."

"Lysithea" Ferdinand cuts in, "the Empress said she'd question the prisoner herself." Lysithea turns to Ferdinand and reminds him that it was her coffee shop that was destroyed, "which I demand recompense for" Lysithea says turning back to the captive woman.

Byleth enters the room along with Bernadetta and Dorothea. The Empress is wearing her old outfit once again but without her gloves, boots, or coat, her ribs are now wrapped in white bandages.

"Empress" Ferdinand utters with concern, "are you alright?" "I'm fine" Byleth says, "but I fear that El may not be." "What are you talking about" Caspar asks. "Dorothea and Bernadetta have revealed some troubling news" Byleth says as she turns to Kalin.

The sounds of Byleth's bare feet slapping against the floor may not have been very loud, but in Kalin's mind they sounded like thunder. The Empress walked slowly due to her injured ribs which made the tension even greater.

Kalin had never laid eyes on Byleth before but she heard the tales of the Fell Star, tales of a woman who slew Thales, led an army to victory against the Agarthans and even the Church of Seiros, cut through a dark realm, and cut down the Immaculate one.

The Immaculate one was a beast so horrifying that to speak it's name was a criminal act among the Agarthans, and yet here was one of the two all powerful women who struck that menacing creature down and she was making her way towards Kalin.

Kalin was no coward, she was a strong and resilient fighter who was taught to be ruthless as Agrathans were, but even she would be terrified at the best of times to have to face down the legendary Fellstar. This however, wasn't the best of times, Byleth approached her with an angry stare while Kalin sat helplessly tied to a chair and thus couldn't run, this was a situation beyond fear inducing.

Kalin was forbidden by her code of honor to divulge any information to a captor and had to show not so much as a modicum of fear in front of the Empress, it took all of her will power to not start shaking at the sight of Byleth who was now standing right in front of her glaring down with rage in her eyes.

"Who are you and why are you here" Byleth asked peering deep into her captive's eyes. Kalin spoke not a word and turned her head to avoid Byleth's glare. "Tell me what I need to know and no harm will come to you" Byleth promised, but there was still no reply. Byleth could see the fear Kalin was trying so hard to conceal, she knew she could break the woman sitting in front of her but she also knew that an Agarthan wouldn't allow them self to be broken so easily and time was of the essence, so Byleth had no choice but to inflict the cruelest method of torture she could think of, the Empress was not proud of what she had to do but Dorothea and Bernadetta had warned her that El was in trouble and desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Everyone get out of here" Byleth ordered sternly. The group got up and walked out but Byleth stopped Ferdinand. "Not you Ferdinand" she ordered. Ferdinand stopped in his tracks and walked over to Byleth.

"Ferdinand, I want you to explain in detail to our friend here what it means to be a noble" Byleth instructed. Ferdinand was certainly not anticipating such an order, "Empress" he said with uncertainty, "I will gladly oblige, but the nobility is no more" he said still bewildered.

Byleth turns to the red head and tells him it doesn't matter and to start with an explanation of nobility and it's importance and codes of conduct. "Ah I get it Empress" Ferdinand says with a smile, "you want this rapscallion to learn the ways of the nobility in order for her to better herself, of course." Byleth placed the gag back over Kalin's mouth so she wouldn't interrupt and Ferdinand with great delight explained to the bound woman the meaning of nobility at what it means to be a noble.

At first Kalin is confused as the man continues to babble on about utterly uninteresting nonsense, but then it dawns on her that he's going to go on all day while she's forced to sit here and listen to him. With this alarming realization, Kalin glances at Byleth with a look of disbelief.

Kalin's muscles tighten and she discovers just how tight her binds really are, she's helpless, she can't go anywhere or do anything but listen as this blowhard rambles on and on.

"Since the nobles like myself found ourselves in a position of wealth and privilege we had to live up to far greater standards than that of the commoners" Ferdinand says with great fervor, "after all those who have been born with such advantages must constantly show those with less that they are worthy of such things and hold themselves to a higher standard, you see the common folk were not well off nor as well educated and the nobles were tasked with providing a positive example for them and we had to do so while making certain our words were simple as not to go over their heads, patience is after all a necessary trait of a nobleman...."

Kalin released muffled cries and stared at Byleth with pleading eyes. Kalin heard the Ashen demon could be ruthless but to be forced to listen to Ferdinand's high fluent voice was worse than hearing your only child slowly die. Byleth ordered Ferdinand to stop. Byleth then asked Kalin if she was ready to be co-operative. Kalin vigorously shook her head yes. Byleth removed Kalin's gag. "I'll tell you anything Empress" she yelled, "just make him stop already."

Outside the conference room the gang stood around as Dorothea explains that Hubert has been cursed to look like a clown and the Agarthans are heading to Brigid to attack Edelgard.

Caspar asks how the Agarthans know Edelgard is in Brigid, "that's really not important right now" Dorothea snaps, "the important thing is that we find out why they decided to show up here in the Empire."

"It appears to be nothing more than the Agrathans trying to take advantage of an Empire without an Emperor" Byleth says as she and Ferdinand exit the room.

"What happened in there" Lysithea asked, Byleth said she convinced the Agarthan to reveal their plans and she believes she is telling the truth, "how did you ah... convince her" Bernie asked in a meek tone knowing she may not really want to be privy to what Byleth may have done to the captive.

"Not to worry, Bernadetta" Ferdinand smiled, it seems that after I was able to convey the high moral standards of the nobility, the Agarthan woman was greatly moved and saw the error of her ways. She thus swiftly confessed her devious plan as an act of complete and utter contrition."

"Oh come on" Caspar says, "that can't be what happened." Byleth tells the others that what's important right now is that she has recovered enough information on what's going on, "the problem is that we need to get to Brigid right away but it's impossible to get there fast enough" the Empress lamented with a very uncommon look on her face, one of deep fear, Byleth seldom ever displayed any emotion but it was clear the thought of her beloved wife being in danger filled her with an overwhelming sense of alarm and helplessness.

"Don't worry" Lysithea says, "I have just the thing, coffee." "I don't think we can travel using coffee" Lindhardt says. "No you idiot" Lysithea yells in frustration, "wyverns react to coffee in a strange way" she explains, "a little coffee can cause them to fly at nearly a hundred times their normal speed." Byleth asks Lysithea how she knows this, "ah...I don't think that's salient at the moment, facing such a dire situation and all" she answers. "I guess not" Byleth says "come on everyone, El needs us."

"Are you sure you're well enough Empress" Bernadetta asks, "I have to be" Byleth says, "Bernie" Dorothea says "lets get the Empress' coat and boots." "I'm going to need my sword too" Byleth says "I have the feeling I'll need it."  
\----------------------------------------

Back in Brigid, Edelgard and Petra sat across from one another and looked over the past treaty between the Empire and Brigid. "This treaty hereby promises that if we the Empire are so much as looked at the wrong way by you backwards savages we will set your worthless land ablaze" Edelgard reads allowed. "Well" El said, "I see why you and your people have not been satisfied with this less than savory excuse for a treaty." "This is the one your Father signed" Petra said, "it was actually far nicer than the one that came before."

Edelgard couldn't help but to feel a sense of shame when she thought of how her ancestors treated the people of Brigid, but this further solidified her belief that past Emperors were complete assholes.

"I promise that this deplorable treatment of your people has now come to an end" Edelgard promised. Petra smiled and reached out to hold El's hand. "Not to worry Edelgard," she says "from this day on wards the people of this land will no doubt be seeing an Emperor's arrival as a sign of great hope."

Just then an armed man rushes in and yells something in brigidese.

"What's wrong" Edelgard asks, "he said under grounders are fucking stuff up" Petra replies.

Edelgard and Petra step outside to see the commotion and spot Agarthans fighting off large numbers of Brigid warriors, not easy to do seeing how brutal and skilled the Brigid people could be when it came to battle.

Petra leaped into the fray wielding her sword with great speed and finesse. Edelgard realized she was unarmed and searched frantically for a weapon. A Brigid warrior tossed the Emperor a spear and she thanked him before using it to take out Agarthans that were attacking the peoples homes. Petra was cutting through invaders left and right, her time at the monastery had served her well and Petra had become Brigid's greatest warrior.

El wasn't particularly skilled with a spear but being as strong and as skilled as she was she managed to conquer enough Agarthans to give the warriors around her some hope that they could come out of this on top.

"Drop your weapon, Emperor" a voice demanded. El turned to see Halvok standing over a defeated Petra with his green ring holding her down with it's magic. "Petra" Edelgard yells, "forgive me Edelgard" Petra manages to utter underneath the waves of magic energy. "Let her go you coward" Edelgard orders, "drop your weapon or she dies" Halvok threatens. "Do not be listening to him" Petra proclaims, but Edelgard couldn't allow anything to happen to her friend and angrily throws her spear to the ground and raises her hands in surrender. Two Agarthan men grab Edelgard's arms and pull them behind her, "please" Edelgard begs, "let Petra and these people go." Halvok tosses Petra aside and tells Edelgard he cares nothing for these beasts and is here for her. Edelgard stares back at Halvok with a furious glare before the Agarthans drag her off.  
\--------------  
Imperial Year 1170-  
Ten year old Hubert sits in his room trying to Master magic that his mother taught him. The young boy takes a breath and tries to focus. With his hands in front of him Hubert manages to summon a tiny, dark form of energy like the type used in the attack spells.

The tiny spark of magic grows slightly but before he can control it Hubert jerks back as the magic pops like a balloon and relinquishes a small cracking sound not unlike that of an electric spark.

"Useless" Hubert yelled as if to scold himself, useless was a term his father would often apply to Hubert when he failed at a task.

Hubert heard a commotion going on down the hall, first he tried to ignore it but there must have been a dozen voices flying back and forth, like the buzzing of bees the sound was difficult for Hubert to not pay any mind.

The boy exited his room and made his way to the main hallway of the castle. Hubert came across tiny footprints made of dirt, a pair of small bare feet walking down the hall of the castle wasn't a normal scene and only a child could have made such tracks. "Lady Edelgard" he thought, his mind ignited a spark of hope for the first time since the little princess went missing.

Hubert followed the prints but was stopped by a tall, dark haired man with a stern look in his eyes. "Hubert, I need you to stay back" the man ordered. "But Father" Hubert said nervously, "what's happening? Has Lady Edelgard been returned?" Hubert's father looks hesitant as if he was unsure of what he should say to the boy in front of him. Hubert's father knelt down to look his son in the eyes, "Lady Edelgard was retrieved this morning." Hubert's face lit up and the lad looked as if he could break down in tears of joy, "however" his father said somberly, "she has been through a lot and needs to rest."

"I need to see her" Hubert said, "you can see her when she is feeling better" his father replied. Hubert was in shock and confusion, how could his father deny him this. "I need to see Lady Edelgard, Father" the boy yelled "I haven't been able to sleep or eat."

Hubert's father placed his hand up as an instruction to his son to quiet down. The stern man told his son that they would need to check with the doctor to see if Edelgard is awake and then he can quickly greet her of a short moment. Hubert shook his head eagerly.

Hubert's father led him to the princess' room and they both stood waiting for the nurse to step out. The tall brown haired nurse stepped out with a troubled look on her face, "is Lady Edelgard awake" Hubert's father asks, "she is awake" the nurse spoke slowly, "she is however, very shaken."

Hubert's father explains to the nurse that his son is Edelgard's vassal and would like very much to see her. The nurse looks at young Hubert and tells him that the princess has been through a lot and may not feel like talking but he can quickly say hello if he'd like.

Hubert steps inside Edelgards room and knocks on the door trying his best to hold back his excitement. "Lady Edelgard" Hubert says hoping for a response, "it's me, are you alright."

Hubert gets no reply and peers in from the doorway to catch a glimpse of Edelgard but doesn't see her. "Lady Edelgard" he repeats as he turns to spot the girl with her back towards him facing the corner.

Hubert takes a couple of steps towards the princess and sees the dirt on her white gown as well as her bare hands and feet. Hubert stops in his tracks when he notices Edelgard's long brown hair is now ghost white. "Lady Edelgard" he says with confusion in his voice. The girl doesn't respond and just stares at the wall in silence. The Princess' vassal feels a wave of apprehension that nearly paralyzes him, he wonders why her hair is white, why she doesn't speak a word or even turn her head in his direction.

Hubert feels a sense of fear, not truly recognizing the girl in front of him. Hubert forces himself to move forward, he needed answers, he needed to know if this was even Edelgard.

Hubert cautiously reached for Edelgard's shoulder, every inch closer made his heart beat faster, his fingers where just about to touch her shoulder when Edelgard turned swiftly and raised her hand in front of her. Hubert jumped back in surprise.

With no expression on her face, Edelgard projected the crest of Flames. Hubert didn't know what to say or do, he just stared at her.

"They put this in me" the princess said in a monotone voice. "Your crest" Hubert says, "it's the minor crest of Seiros." "No" little El says swiftly, "this one is different, it's special."

Edelgard looks Hubert in the eyes with an intense stare. The jovial and playfully mischievous look in her eyes was absent and there was a dark void in her glare as if possessed by a creature from the underworld.

"I'll become strong because of this" she says with a voice that Hubert now realizes is hoarse and doesn't even sound like Edelgard, "I'll make everything different when I'm stronger......will you help me?"

Hubert had no idea exactly what he was being asked to do but he nodded "yes Lady Edelgard." Edelgard hugged him and he gently hugged her back still confused and a little frightened, he wasn't sure what had happened but he knew the princess needed his help and he would do whatever he needed to do so his young mistress could go back to the way she was before.  
\--------

Hubert and the annoyger troll are riding on horse back when they notices several objects darting through the sky faster than anything Hubert had ever witnessed before, "what are those" Hubert proclaims in bewilderment, the troll shrugs his shoulders.

The flying objects slow down and reveal themselves to be wyverns. The wyverns land and Hubert can recognize the riders as Byleth, Caspar, Ferdinand, Dorothea, Bernadetta, Lindhardt, and Lysithea.

Byleth leaps off her wyvern and approach Hubert, "your majesty" he says puzzled, "how did you get here, how did those Wyverns move at such speed?" "It would seem that coffee increases the wyvern's speed" Byleth explains with a smile. "It also gives them the shits" Lysithea says "so don't fly over anybody you like."

"I know my appearance may seem strange" Hubert says trying to explain, "Bernadetta and Dorothea explained everything" Byleth said cutting him off, "we're going to Brigid to help El and we need you to come with us."

Hubert agrees but tells Byleth he will need to take the annoyger troll with him, the green monster smiles at Byleth and the Empress can't help but to giggle at the sight of the odd creature, "he's kind of cute" Byleth says as she pats the troll on the head. "There are many words to describe this beast Empress" Hubert says while glaring at the annoyger, "but cute is not one that comes to mind." "Can we get going" Lindhardt asks "I was hoping to get back in time for a nap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter became far longer than expected and I decided my three chapter story would have to become a four chapter story.


	4. The Cave Of Illusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to save Edelgard, Byleth and company need to traverse a creepy cave that generates disturbing illusions.

As soon as her wyvern lands, Byleth leaps off the winged reptile followed by Hubert and the annoyger troll. 

A look of dread filled bewilderment comes across the Empress' face as she sees the state of Brigid. 

Dead and injured fighters are being carried off and towns people are left with looks of heart break and fear. "What happened here" Byleth loudly asks the distressed people as her ally's wyverns land on Brigid soil. 

Onlookers unable to understand Byleth due to the language barrier, stare at her with confusion. Two men draw their weapons and near the Empress until one of them stops in his tracks when he recognizes the woman in front of him, he raises his hand to signal to the other armed man to stop before he drops to one knee, the other people follow suit when they too recognize Byleth.

"Damn it all" Hubert yells, "do any of you speak the tongue of Fodlan."

A older woman raises her hand apprehensively. "I am Empress Byleth of the Adrestian Empire" Byleth says to the woman with a pleading look in her eyes, "I need to find my wife, Emperor Edelgard." The woman's face swiftly displays great emotion as if she was about to break down and start crying. "Forgive us" she begs as she dropped to her knees in front of Byleth, "we could not stop them." "What happened" Byleth demanded to know, "they took Emperor" the woman explained, "I don't know where." "Who took her" Hubert asked with intensity in his voice.

The Woman struggled for the words and simply patted the ground, "the men in the earth." "The damnable Agarthans" Hubert bemoaned "I shall finish what Lady Edelgard started and murder every last one of them that remains." Byleth gets down on one knee and looks the old woman in the eyes, "ma'am" she says softly, "Do you know where we can find Queen Petra?"  
\----------

In Petra's home, the Brigid queen sits on her throne with her face in her hands surrounded by her former teacher and classmates. "I am having great shame" Petra laments with tears in her eyes, "I beg your forgiveness Empress although I am most unworthy of it." 

Byleth places a hand on Petra's shoulder and tells her she has nothing to be ashamed of. Petra tries to further explain the situation,"When Brigid was attacked, I was bested by a purple man with a strange looking head and Lady Edelgard surrendered so my life would be spared. So I am to blame for her childnapping by those that shit upon the dark."

Despite the dire situation, Caspar couldn't help but to burst out laughing at Petra's tenuous grasp of the language. "Is something funny Caspar" Petra asked earnestly. "Ahh well" Caspar, not wanting to make Petra feel worse than she already did; made up a flimsy excuse. "I was just laughing at Hubert's dumb outfit" he lied. 

Petra turned to look at Hubert who up until this point she didn't even recognize. "Hubert" Petra said with surprise and uncertainty, "why are you looking as a clown." "It is a long story" Hubert said with his arms cross "and one that is not particularly well written at that, what's of urgency I'm sure you'll agree, is rescuing Lady Edelgard." 

Dorothea rubs Petra's back and bends down to look her old classmate in the eyes. "Petra honey" the songstress says, "do you have any idea where they could have taken Edie?"

Petra thinks for a moment. "The cave" the Queen says just as the idea pops into her mind, "they must be in the cave." Petra explains that Agarthan people have recently been spotted around a nearby cave in Brigid. "Alright everyone" Byleth commands, "we need to find this cave and save El." "Wait professor" Petra says, "only a shitter of the dark can enter those cave safely." Caspar had to place his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing again, Lindhardt elbowed him and gave his friend a look of disapproval.

"They put a strange magic spell on the cave so all but them who enter will be seeing frightening phantoms and other horrors" Petra states. "Phantoms" Lysithea stutters, "as in ghost!" "They may be illusions cast by Magic" Petra says "but no one is knowing for certain." "Ghost or no ghost" Byleth declares, "nothing will stop me from finding my honeybun." Caspar erupts with laughter "ha ha ha honey bun" he says with amusement "really professor?" "Shut up Caspar" Byleth ordered "and if any of you tell her I called her that in front of you, I promise to have you all executed; now let's get going." "I will be going with you" Petra says as she jumps back up to her feet, "I owe it to Edelgard to assist in her rescuing." Byleth nodded and the group left Petra's home.

Outside Hubert looks around for the annoyger troll, "where is that wretched beast" he says allowed. The annoyger is busy poking the dead body of a fallen warrior and playing with the warrior's sword that he picked up five feet from the man's corpse. "Put that down" Hubert yells as he grabs the monster by the back of the neck, "we're not through with you yet."  
\-------------

The cursed cave is more of a small mountain. It was almost shaped like an inverted L.

The cave's opening led to a long, dark passageway that ended at a large stone tower. The top of the tower was where Halvok, twenty other Agarthans, and a captive Edelgard were located.

Edelgard's hands were bound behind her back and two large Agarthan men held her arms. El's face adorned a wicked scowl as she eyed Halvok with clear malicious intent. 

"Well now Emperor" Halvok said with an evil wry, "all there is left to do is reclaim the annoyger troll and the Adrestian Empire will shun you just as the surface shuned us."

Edelgard was not in the mood to hear anything a damned Agarthan had to say.

"I'm going to kill all of you" Edelgard said, eyes locked on Halvok's.

Before the purple man could reply two more Agarthan men rush in, "Halvok" one of them yelled with a sense of urgency, "the empress, the Queen of Brigid, and other allies of the emperor are on their way. 

Edelgard smiled, "looks like I'll get to kill you quicker than expected." "Quiet harlot of Adrestia" Halvok shouted. 

He seemed concerned but only for a moment. 

"Tell me" Halvok says, "is the Emperor's vassal among them?" "Yes sir" the man replied, "he is dressed as a jester." 

Realizing his plan is coming together, Halvok turn to the captive emperor to boast. "It turns out my plot is ahead of schedule" the purple man says, "with your foolish vassal nearby the annoyger will be headed this way and we can finally show Fodlan that the great Edelgard Von Hresvelg is nothing but a ungrateful, feckless, and foolish girl who waged a war that led to countless deaths all for nothing. 

"The war was not for nothing" Edelgard snapped, "try explaining that to the masses once they see you as the clown you are" Halvok laughs.

The villain grabs Edelgard by the face and gazes into her eyes, "even your beloved Empress will reject you when she sees you as we do" he tells the bound emperor with a foul grin. Edelgard stares back at Halvok with utter contempt, she couldn't wait for Byleth and the others to arrive so she could finish the vile Agarthans once and for all.  
\----------

Byleth and company arrive at the cave and step inside to see the long interior diverges into three sections. 

Byleth asks Petra if she knows which route is most likely to lead to where Edelgard is being held.

"I am sorry Empress" Petra answers, "I have not entered this cave before now." Byleth quickly decides the best course of action is to split the team into three groups.

"Hubert, the green monster, Ferdinand, and myself will enter the passage in the centre" Byleth says. "Petra" Byleth says turning to the queen, "you'll head to the right with Dorothea and Lindhardt." "Yes Empress" Petra says with a bow." Byleth then tells Caspar, Bernie, and Lysithea that they'll enter the left passage. 

"Maybe I should stay outside and stand guard" Lysithea says. "I'm afraid you're needed inside Lysithea" Byleth replies, "be brave Lysithea, I believe in you." Byleth tells her companions to be careful and assures them they'll save Edelgard in no time.  
\-------

Petra leads Dorothea and Lindhardt through the thick cave corridor. It doesn't take long for the trio to spot torches on the cave walls. "Well that's convenient" Lindhardt says, "I figured I was going to have to cast a light spell." "These torches mean someone is likely not long been down here" Dorothea states. "That is true" Petra agrees, "we must be showing caution." Suddenly a loud roar echoes through the cave, Dorothea grabs Petra's arm, "what was that" the singer asks. "I don't know" Petra says as she grips her bow, "but we must be sticking together." "Yeah, of course" Dorothea says nervously.

Lindhardt's face has a clear look of unease as the women walk ahead. Before he can catch up he hears a faint whisper. "Hey you." Lindhardt turns to spot a gauntly old man sitting on the cave floor surrounded by books. "You have a thirst for knowledge" the man says with a creepy grin, "I can tell a seeker of truth when I see one." "Who are you" Lindhardt manages to utter. "It matters not" the man replies, "here, take this" he says as he holds out a thick book in his hand.

Lindhardt takes the book and eyes it carefully, "what is it" he asks, "it's the answers to all of the questions you've been asking" the man responds.

Lindhardt is tempted to open the book but something isn't right about this. "Sir, how did you.." Lindhardt stops when he looks up at the old man who now has blood oozing out of his eyes and mouth. 

Hating the sight of blood, Lindhardt steps back and drops the book. "Open the damn book you little shit" the man screams. 

"Damn it Lin" yells Dorothea, "you need to keep up." Lindhardt is about to point out the bleeding man but he and the books have vanished. "But but, there was" Lindhardt tries to explain, "I know" Dorothea says, "you once again decided to take a nap at the worst of times, come on we need to get going." The speechless young man is then dragged off by the impatient songstress.  
\------------  
Caspar looks behind him to see Bernadetta lagging behind. "Bernadetta" he proclaims, "are you coming or not?" Bernie is obviously not thrilled about being in another cave, "I I'm ca coming" she stutters. "If you're too scared to walk on your own I can always carry you" Caspar states. "No" Bernadetta yells, "I told you not to do that anymore." "Hurry up you guys" Lysithea yells as she keeps moving forward, "I really want to hurry up and get out of here, but not because I'm scared or anything."

Caspar rushes to catch up and Bernie is starting to fear being left alone and is about to run when she notices a vast collection of carnivorous plants along the cave walls. 

"Hey Bernadetta" one of the plants says, "how have you been." "Ahhaa" Bernie screeches, "did you just talk?" "What's wrong the plant asks, "you used to talk to us all the time." Bernie places her fist against her chest and looks at the plant with confusion, "I did, but I don't remember you ever talking back" the purple haired girl states with her eyes wide, not looking away from the anomalous piece of flora in front of her.

Caspar and Lysithea still haven't noticed Bernadetta's absence. "Caspar, help" a voice shouts. Caspar turns towards the sound and eyes a dark pathway on his right hand side. "Bernadetta" Caspar answers, "hold on I'm coming." 

Caspar rushes off to help his friend and leaves Lysithea by herself. "Caspar" the white haired girl yells, "where are you going?"

"Lysithea" a young voice calls out, "how dare you show up around here."

Lysithea looks around with panic in her eyes, "who's there" she replies. 

"Don't you remember us" a little boy says as he steps out from the darkness. 

Lysithea backs up in horror. "You're a ghost" she yells. 

"Is that all we are" a little ghost girl asks as she steps out holding hands with an even smaller ghost girl who looks as if she's been crying heavily.

"Who are you" Lysithea asks, "why don't you ghost leave me alone."

A taller and somewhat older boy's spirit steps forward with six other ghost children. 

"Why aren't you with us" the boy asks. "Eric" Lysithea managed to utter, "you died."

"Yes Lysithea" the boy responds, "we all died, all of us but you." 

The crying girl looks up, "why are you so special" she asks while the girl next to her tries to offer some comfort.

"It wasn't my fault" Lysithea yells, "it was those people that took us." 

"I think you were on their side the whole time" a little ghost boy says with a scowl.

"No" Lysithea screams, "they did those horrible things to me just as they did you" she explains as tears fill her eyes. "Look at my hair" she cries out holding her white locks, "I don't know why I was able to live and you weren't but it isn't my fault." 

"You told us to be brave" a young ghost girl said wrapping her arms around herself with an blank gaze in her eyes. "We need you lysithea" Eric says.

Lysithea struggles to hold back from crying as she tries to explain to her old friends that she can't help them anymore. "There's nothing I can do about what happened to you guys, I'm sorry."

Eric steps forward and smiles at Lysithea, "it's okay" he said softly, "we forgive you, we just need you to punish the one responsible for our suffering."

Lysithea looked at Eric with confusion, "wh what are you talking about, we killed most of the Agarthans and the ones who are left we're going after right now." "No" says Eric, "not them, the Emperor." "Edelgard" Lysithea says in surprise, she didn't do anything, she was a victim like us."

Eric steps back and glares at lysithea in disbelief, "a victim" he says in disgust, "the emperor is no victim, we all died and you'll likely join us soon enough, but the emperor has super strength and an entire empire under her control" the ghost boy says, "Edelgard was their chosen one, she was their success while we were just fresh bodies to torment and kill, she must die."

Caspar meanwhile, is making his way through the dark searching for Bernie who is still conversing with plants. 

"I think you should get out of here Bernie" the plant said, "it's too dangerous for you to be in a place like this." "But I have to help my friends" Bernie replies.

"I know you think their your friends but their not" the plant says, they don't really like you." "That's not true" Bernie insists, "these people have been my friends for years including Lady Edelgard who needs our help." 

"Come now Bernadetta" the plant says, "why would the Emperor want to see you, weird unmarriageable girls like you are of no interest to an Emperor."

"Bernadetta" Caspar calls from behind the purple haird girl, "who are you talking to." 

Caspar is unable to see the talking plant that Bernie is conversing with.

Bernadetta turns to Caspar, "I found a talking plant" she explains. "He won't believe you" the plant states, "only strange girls like you can talk to plants."

Bernie is growing confused, why can't Caspar see the plant. 

Caspar walks towards Bernadetta when from his right hand side a demonic beast lunges towards him. "Ahha" Caspar yells as he swings his axe at the monster only to phase through it.

"Huh" Caspar says puzzled, "this is all just the cave messing with us." 

Bernadetta says that would make sense but the talking plant seemed so real. "It knew things about me" Bernie said, "it knew I was unmarryable."

"That's nonsense" Caspar responds, "I'd totally marry you." "You would" Bernie asks shyly with a blush. "Sure" says Caspar in his typical upbeat manner, "why not."

Meanwhile Lysithea is still arguing with her former ghost friends.

"I can't kill Edelgard" Lysithea explains, "she's my friend." 

"She isn't your friend" Eric says harshly, "we are."

"Think about it Lysithea" a girl says, "because of Edelgard you were tortured, your life span shortened and you'll probably get diabetes and won't be able to eat sweets anymore."

"Ahhaa" Lysithea yells, "that can't be true, the hell with all of you, ghost aren't real." 

Lysithea releases magic attacks in an attempt to blast the ghost that surround her when she hears a familiar voice, "oww Lysithea."

The voice was Caspar, he and Bernadetta were catching up with Lysithea and she never noticed his presence when she went into a magic tossing rage and struck Caspar's leg by mistake.

"Caspar" she yells in shock, "I'm sorry, I was trying to kill those stupid ghost."

"Their just illusions" Bernadetta proclaims, "we've seen strange things too."

"So there are no ghost" Lysithea asks, "no" says Caspar holding his left leg, "just us."

"Oh, of course" Lysithea says "I knew it all along, I'm far too mature to believe in ghosts, nice try cursed cave."  
\----------------  
Hubert storms through the cave expeditiously with an unblinking focus etched on his painted, clown face. 

"Slow down, Hubert" Byleth says, from behind the frantic young man.

"Lady Edelgard is in peril" Hubert snaps, "and you are of no use to her if you're dead" Byleth replies. "Do you not think we need to act swiftly" Hubert says still rushing through the cave as Byleth, Ferdinand and the annoyger troll struggle to keep up.

"Perhaps Hubert is right" Ferdinand stated, "we must rescue Edelgard at once and if we are the party to arrive on the scene before the others, our Emperor will no doubt see me as a Prime Minister worthy of that title."

Hubert's head snapped back to glare at the orange haired man. "Damn you Ferdinand" Hubert rebuked , "this is not the time for you're petty, one sided competition with Lady Edelgard."

Hubert didn't wait for Ferdinand to respond and walked off with a bitter glare in his eyes. "Hubert wait" Byleth ordered as she and Ferdinand rushed to keep up along with the annoyger at their side. 

Hubert was forced to stop abruptly as the cave's corridor split into two separate directions. "We will need to split up" Hubert stated without turning to face the others, "I'll enter the right passage, you two can feel free to take that horrid creature with you and make your way through the left." 

"Horrid creature" Ferdinand said with his right hand on his hip, "must you be so harsh on our small, green friend here?"

"It wasn't him I was refering to" Hubert retorted as he stepped inside the divergent pathway. "Hey" Ferdinand decries, realizing that the insult was directed at him. 

Byleth turned and entered the left passage, "keep up Ferdinand" she ordered. The Prime Minister's head moved from side to side eyeing both passageways, "keep up with who" he asked, but his former teacher was already too far ahead to hear him. Ferdinand looked down at the annoyger, the small beast just shrugged it's shoulders.

"Getting left behind in your quest to save that vile harlot I see." Ferdinand turned to see his Father, the former Duke Aegir.

The orange haired man stepped back in both surprise and perplexity. "Father" he managed to utter, "how can you be here?" "You mean how did I manage to escape the prison that little whore locked me up in" Duke Aegir shouted. 

The annoyger troll looked on with a puzzled look on his off putting face, the small creature was unable to see or hear Ferdinand's stern father despite the Prime Minister's illusion seeming entirely authentic to him.

"You can't really be here" Ferdinand stated. "How dare you doubt me you disloyal, poor excuse for a noble" Duke Aegir yelled, "no wonder you're unable to best a ninety pound girl in anything other than the ability to look like an utter fool."

The annoyger rushed forward and stood in front of Ferdinand, waving his arms in front of him in hopes he'll snap out of his odd delusion but the young man insists on conversing with what he thinks is his father.

"Yes Father, I may have been beaten by Edelgard in a fist fight when we were seven" Ferdinand admits, "but that's only because she cheated."

Ferdinand notices the annoyger and finally figures out that the troll is unable to see his father clearly standing in front of him, he then comes to the conclusion that this is merely a trick the cave has manufactured in his mind.

Ferdinand pointed his lance in his father's direction and the weapon phased through the corpulent man's body just before the illusion vanished before Ferdinand's eyes. "Of course" he said assuredly, "This was all an illusion" he looked down at the annoyger, "and you being a creature of magic, appear to be immune to the mystic forces at play, perhaps you could be of use my strange, green companion."

Byleth continues moving through the dark cave hoping she'll come across her wife, all she can think of is seeing the purple eyed beauty alive and well.

"If they hurt her I'll make their deaths slow and gruesome" she thought to herself.

"Off to save your beloved Edelgard" a voice questioned. "Who's there" Byleth asked sternly with her sword drawn. "Surely you haven't forgotten me" the voice said softly. 

From the darkness Rhea stepped out dressed as she did back at Garreg Mach Monastery. "You're not really here" Byleth replied, "not physically no" Rhea says with a smile, "I am with my mother now, but as a spirit I have been permitted to speak with you just as she once did."

Byleth believed this was simply the cave's magic creating an illusion, although a very convincing one.

The former professor felt it best to ignore the illusion and kept moving forward, but Rhea followed her deeper into the cave. "I know we didn't end things on the best of terms" the former arch bishop said, "but I no longer hold any anger towards you Byleth, in fact Mother and I long to have you with us, where you truly belong."

Byleth continued to ignore what appeared to be Rhea but the cave's magic had continued to tempt a response from her.

"If my mother can not persuade you perhaps your's can?" Byleth stopped in her tracks and felt a surge of tension pulse through her, "no" she thought "it couldn't."

"Hey kid, long time no see." The voice was unmistakable. "Father?" Byleth knew this wasn't real but she wanted to see Jeralt again, she couldn't help but to turn around to see her father standing with a smile on his face and a beautiful young woman at his side. 

"See" Jeralt said as he gazed down at the green haired woman, "I told you she was a spitting image of you."

Byleth knew who the short, green haired woman was, it was Sitri Eisner, it was her mother.

Byleth's body started to shake as Sitri walked over to her with a beaming smile on her face. "Byleth" she said in a warm tone that made the empress almost go limp and fall over. "My little Byleth, you're all grown, and so beautiful." "Ya you're not really here" Byleth stammered. "No" Sitri said, "your father and I are with the Goddess, but we can all be together as a family, isn't that what you want?"

Without her even realizing it, the typically stoic Byleth had tears cascading down her face as she fell to her knees.   
Sitri walked over to Byleth and asked again, "don't you want to be with us?" Byleth was shaking when she looked up at Sitri and shook her head in confirmation. "Yes Mama" she managed to blurt out in an almost child like manner. "That a girl" Jeralt said in a jovial tone, "I knew we could count on you, all you have to do is take that sword of yours and end this life and start a better one with us."

Byleth gripped the Sword Of The Creator and stared down at the now glowing weapon. "That's my girl" Jeralt praised, "now quickly shove that fancy sword through your chest and we're good to go."

Byleth looked down at the sword in her hands, "I will be with you again Father, Mother" she said before looking up at her parents. Just then Byleth's face changed back to her expressionless gaze, "but not yet" she stated with conviction.

Byleth stood up and glared at the illusions, "your not my parents" she said in a matter of fact tone, "if you were you'd know that I still have a life here with Edelgard and I'm going to find her." The illusions vanished as Byleth turned around and walked off confidently through the dark cave just as determined as ever.  
\-----------  
Back at the top of the tower Halvok is having a discussion on battle tactics with one of his subordinates who has a large axe strapped to his back. 

"I'm just saying what I heard" the man told Halvok, "outside of Fodlan people don't just stand in place and wait for their enemy to make a move before taking their turn." "Preposterous" Halvok replied with a wave of his hand, "in combat all units must wait their turn before attacking, that's just the way battles are fought."

Just then another Agarthan soldier enters the room and warns Halvok that he can hear people nearing the area. "Perfect" Halvok says with a devious smile, "kill the Emperor's friends and capture that damn Annoyger" the purple man ordered. Halvok then sends twelve of his soldiers to intercept the oncoming intruders before turning to the Agarthan next to him with the axe. "You" Halvok says sternly, glaring at the man, "I will need you to assists in the task of making sure our irksome little emperor remains confined.

Halvok turns to Edelgard whose arms were held by two large Agarthan men, "take her in the back room and keep a very close eye on her" Halvok said, not taking his eyes off his captive, "she will not escape justice."

As Edelgard is turned around and forcibly marched into a dark room thirty feet in front of her, the emperor's face shows no fear but looks as if she's holding back a smile.

Edelgard thrashes unexpectedly and frees herself from the men's grip, she turns and tries to make a run for it but she ends up being blocked by the axe wielding Agarthan who grabs her right arm and turns her back around, "I don't think so little girl" he mocks "you're not going anywhere, nice try though." 

One of the men who lost hold on the tiny emperor rushed back and reclaimed his grip on her left arm and again Edelgard was forced back inside the dark room. 

The Agarthan's holding Edelgard did not relinquish their clasp of her as the third man pulled out his spear and pointed at Edelgard's throat.

"Listen up, you rebellious little wench" the man scolded, "you try that again and I'll stab you right in the eye and you'll match your dead step brother." "No you listen" Edelgard snapped back in a confident and austere voice, "I'm giving you one, and only one chance to walk out of here alive, drop your weapons and release me at once." 

The men laugh at the short woman's attempt to look intimidating dispite being tied up. "And what if we don't" the man with the spear asks with a condescending grin as he lowers his weapon. "Then I'll have no choice but to confiscate this man's axe" Edelgard says nodding to the man on her right who has her in his grasp, "and then I shall use that very axe to butcher the three of you before laying waste to your comrades."

The three men break out laughing in amusement, clearly not taking the Emperor seriously. "I take it from your laughter you aren't willing to release me" Edelgard said coldly. "Tell me little Emperor" the man with the spear laughs, " just how do you plan on confiscating his axe?" "Yes Flame Emperor" the man to her right says with a supercilious smile as he tightens his grip on El's arm and stares into her eyes, his face just inches from hers, "I want to hear your grand plan of escape."

Edelgard turned to the man and stared back at him, "I'm going to plunge my dagger into your throat and remove the axe from it's holster." "What dagger" the Agarthan asks. "The one I used to cut my bindings."

The Agarthan to El's left looks back to see her wrists are no longer tied. "Oh Goddess no" he says.

Edelgard shoves him aside and stabs the man to her right just as she promised. The Agarthan in front received a strong punch to the jaw before he could react, he stumbled backwards and his ass hit the hard cave floor, the Agarthan with his spear still in hand, struggled to find his bearings as the room appeared to spin like a whirlpool. He managed to get to his feet and steady himself, when his vision became stable he could see Edelgard covered in blood with the axe in hand. The man looked down to see both his comrades were swiftly disposed of by the Emperor who now eyed him with a malicious stare. The Agarthan let out a girly shriek just as Edelgard thrust the axe forward and hacked his head clean off. Another Agarthan opened the door to see what was occurring and was blasted by a magic fireball that shot forth from the angry Emperor's right hand.

The Emperor rushed out and took on the remaining six Agarthans in an apoplectic blood bath that saw Agarthan blood and innards paint the cave walls. El looked down at her defeated enemies and noticed the absence of a certain purple Agarathan. Just then Edelgard was struck by a beam of energy from Halvok's ring that sent the young woman crashing into the far wall. "You" Halvok yelled, "I'll kill you for this."

Edelgard popped back up and charged Halvok, the purple Agarthan was able to create a magic shield with his ring that blocked Edelgards attempts to land a blow with her axe. Halvok used his shield as a weapon and cracked Edelgard in the side of the head. El hit the ground hard and the opportunistic Halvok went in for a finishing blow. El however, was too quick an rolled backwards to her feet and managed to spin her axe around and with the crest of flames she cut through the Agarthan's shield.

Halvok's face displayed shock and horror as he backed away from the deceptively powerful Emperor. "Surrender Halvok" El ordered, "or you'll die like the others." "Get fucked Edelgard Von Hresvelg" he replied with venom in his voice, "I will die before I submit to the will of a pint sized fascist like you." "Fascist?" El says with confusion. Halvok uses his earth controlling ring to tear massive stones from the top of the cave and fire them at Edelgard but she is able to break them with her swift and thunderous axe strikes.

Halvok's eyes display intense contempt and frustration as he rushes forward to clash with Edelgard head on. The purple man uses a blast from his ring to strike the axe from Edelgard's hand before grabbing the Emperor's neck and right arm. Halvok turns to his left and tosses Edelgard into the cave wall. "Ahh" El yells as she once again hits the sold rock wall with a thud.

Using his ring, the fiendish Agarthan opens the cave wall allowing the outside world to be visible. Before she can get back up, Edelgard is dragged towards the cave's opening and Halvok grasps her throat and pins her in between the stones surrounding the newly formed gap. Halvok raises his ring and begins slowly reconstructing the cave wall above him and El. "It's time I extinguish the Flame Emperor for good" he declares as El struggles to break loose. "I'll reform the cave's wall and crush your pretty little head like a grape" he laughed.

Edelgard's shoulder was injured and her strength was greatly attenuated, try as she might she couldn't overpower Halvok. "This can't end here" she thought, "not like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this story is now going to be five chapters rather than four. Each character in the story had to have their own moments even if they are brief and I didn't want a chapter that went on forever. I also don't want to rush to the finish because I have an ending in mind for each character including the Annoyger troll.


	5. Romance, Relaxation, and Bloody Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much is known about the strange purple Agarthan known as Halvok, but on thing is certain, he's an asshole. If he thinks after all of his dastardly deeds he can simply walk away unpunished, he clearly doesn't know how headstrong and relentless Emperor Edelgard Von Hresvelg can truly be.

With the cave's wall about to be reformed and her skull about to be splattered, Edelgard had to act fast. The feisty Emperor grabbed Halvok's right hand and bit down with all her might.

"Ahhaa Goddess damn you" Halvok yelled as he released the girl from his grip, "you nasty little white haired tribad."

With the purple scoundrel still on top of her, Edelgard reached up with both hands, grabbed his left arm, and attempted to pull off the magic ring from his finger.

"Give me that damned thing" El yelled, "never" Halvok shouted back, "my grandmother gave it to me."

Edelgard managed to yank the ring from Halvok's purple hand before pushing the fiend off of her.

"Your grandmother was probably a jezebel" Edelgard said as she made it back to her feet. "How dare you say that about Grandma Milgret" Halvok replied, "that woman was a saint." "So was Seiros" El said as she dropped the ring on the ground, "and we know what happened to her."

Edelgard looked down at the ring before stomping it as hard as she could, smashing the magic item into pieces.

Halvok rush to the shattered ring in hopes that it could be salvaged but it was scattered throughout the cave's floor.

El rushed towards her axe and picked it back up and warned Halvok that he best surrender if he wishes to keep his head. "Foolish girl" Halvok says with a vile glare, "you can kill me or save your precious friends, the choice is yours."

Edelgard leered at the villain with malice, wondering what move to make.

The Emperor knew damn well that Halvok was right, her friends and wife were in this cave looking to save her and she had to help them fight off the onslaught of Agarthans. "This isn't over Halvok" Edelgard stated as she turned and rushed into the caves corridors to aid Byleth and the others.

Halvok turned to notice the cave's opening he failed to close around El's head had enough room for him to slip out and make his escape. "So long little Emperor" he said with a crude laugh.  
\--------  
"There you are" proclaimed Ferdinand with a smile as he came across Byleth. The former professor turned to see the orange haired man looking pleased to see her. "Look" Byleth said as she pointed in front of her. Ferdinand looks ahead to spot a distant light, "do you think that is where Edelgard is being held" he asks. "I hope so" Byleth says, but just then the Empress stops in her tracks when loud marching footsteps can be heard approaching the duo. Byleth readies her sword and Ferdinand readies his lance.

Several Agarthan soldiers block off further entry into the cave. "Is it possible that these are more illusions" Ferdinand asks, an arrow is shot at Byleth but she swiftly blocks it with her sword. "No" she replies shaking her head, "their definitely real."

Meanwhile Edelgard makes her way through the cave until the passage she's traversing diverges into two separate routes. She listens carefully hoping to hear any type of noise that would indicate where the Agarthans may have gone, although El can hear noises, they seem to come from all over. Edelgard needs to move quickly to aid her friends and chooses to go left and swiftly darts down the dark passage until she comes to a torch that provides her with some much needed light.

Edelgard's eyes just begin to adjust when she spots a rat scurrying in front of her, "ahhhaaaa" the Emperor shrieks. "Of course there'd be rats" she says in irritation. El moves past the tiny pest and is bombarded with an intense noise that echoes through the cave.

When Edelgard turns the corner she sees the cave floor moving as if it was a living thing, although she is bewildered at first the Emperor doesn't take long to discover the moving floor is actually hundreds or maybe even thousands of rats moving in a mass of fur and whiskers.

Edelgard stumbles backwards in horror with her axe clenched so tightly she damn near breaks it in her strong grip. "No no no" Edelgard says out loud, "to hell with this." The white haired woman turns to leave when she hears her wife's voice calling out to her. "El help, help us please." "Byleth" Edelgard answered, "is that you my love?"

Edelgard realized the only way to her beloved was through the sea of vermin in front of her, "this can't be happening" she said in a voice that sounded far more puerile than she was comfortable with.

Her head felt like it was spinning and every breath was a struggle but she needed to help Byleth, she needed to overcome her fear. "I am Edelgard Van Hresvelg" she said with her eyes shut tight, "I am the slayer of the Immaculate one, the Emperor of the Adrestian Empire, I am not afraid of tiny little beasts."

Edelgard opened her eyes and as stoically as she possibly could she slowly made her way through the vast wave of rats. "I can do this" she said with a determined look adorning her face, "rats can't hurt me, they're small and weak."

Just then the swarm of rodents gathered together and began to fuse with one another to create a single giant rat with teeth so large they could bite a man clean in half, and a red tail that exuded flames like the mouth of a dragon.

Edelgard's eyes open wide and her hands shake with the axe still in her grip.

The Emperor knew she had to snap herself out of the wave of fear that gripped her, she was not a helpless child anymore.

The tiny yet powerful woman raised her axe in preparation for battle and tried her damnedest to ignore the thought that arose from the situation, the thought that the Goddess must have truly, truly hated her.

The demonic rat charge towards Edelgard but she swung her axe at the behemoth and cut through a mass of... nothing. "What" she thought puzzled, "how can this be?" It was yet another illusion summoned by the cave's magic.

El was relieved the monster was non existent but she then pondered whether Byleth's voice calling to her was also an illusion. "It matters not" thought the Emperor "I need to keep moving."  
\---------------  
With a vigorous upward slash of her sword, Byleth slew the final Agarthan foolish enough to take on her and Ferdinand.

"A fine job as always Empress" Ferdinand says with his typical confident grin.

"El must be up ahead" Byleth yelled as she ran forward towards a lit area just fifty to sixty feet in front of her.

"Wait up Empress" Ferdinand replied as he tried to catch up.

Byleth stormed inside the open area where Edelgard had not long battled Halvok. Byleth eyed the scattered and butchered bodies of the slain Agarthans that covered the cave floor. "What happened here" Ferdinand mused as he entered the area and viewed the aftermath of a brutal massacre that not long took place.

Byleth peeked inside the nearby room and saw three more dead bodies but no Edelgard. "El" Byleth said with an element of apprehension in her voice, "where is she?" "Empress" Ferdinand called, pointing out the gap in the cave wall that led to the outside, "what do you make of this" he asked.

"Not sure" Byleth answered, "but we need to gather the others."

Byleth back tracked and noticed that the path leading back where she had just came actually split into a separate path.

"That must be the path that leads back to Hubert" Ferdinand said in a confident tone that displayed his pride in figuring out the cave's layout.

"We need to get to Hubert in case more Agarthans went that way" Byleth insisted. Ferdinand agreed and entered the pathway on the left with Byleth but, not before turning around in hopes of spotting the annoyger troll, he could have sworn the little creature was walking beside him until he came across his former professor.  
\---------

As Hubert briskly makes his way through the cave he stops suddenly when he hears the pitter patter of tiny feet zipping behind him, "that can't be that damned troll" he thought. Behind a large boulder Hubert could hear what sounded like a child whimpering. "Who goes there" Hubert bellowed. The crying continued and Hubert carefully walked towards the boulder. "Leave me alone Hubert" a tiny girl's voice ordered, "this is all your fault."

Hubert wondered just how a child in a cave could know his name, he thought the whole thing was suspect but he summoned a ball of magic in case he needed to defend himself.

"Who are you" Hubert asked in a stern voice, "I don't know anymore" the girl answered as she sobbed.

Hubert made his way around the hefty rock and spotted a tiny white haired girl with her hands over her face as she wept.

"This can't be" Hubert said as he eyed the child curiously. The little girl lifted her head and stared at Hubert with a look of utter anguish on her face, "I told you to go away."

Hubert backed up not sure how to process what he was witnessing, "Lady Edelgard?" "I told you to go away Hubert" the little girl cried.

Hubert rolled his eyes, "an illusion spawned by the cave's dark magic" he said as he stood up and turned around.

The illusion of young Edelgard appeared in front of Hubert not letting him avoid the sight of her, "this is all your fault" she yelled as she opened her arms to showcase her white gown that was stained red with blood. "They cut into me Hubert" she said as tears trickled down her tiny face.

"Nothing was done to you" Hubert said in a monotone voice, "you are but an illusion."

Hubert kept walking in hopes the little Edelgard would vanish but she proved persistent.

"You're just going to walk away and leave me here just like you left the real Edelgard." The comment had got to Hubert as shown by the scowl displayed on his painted face, but he knew better than to allow the magic force to distract him.

"You left her alone in that dark rat infested dungeon Hubert" the little Edelgard said harshly, "she was left crying and screaming for her father as their magic was pulsating through her tiny body."

Hubert continued to walk forward but he was clearly upset by the thought of his young mistress being tormented, a thought his mind had pondered many times, a thought he tried for years to distract himself from, thoughts that deprived him of sleep and piece for far too long.

"Do you know what it feels like to have that kind of magic move through your body Hubert" the illusion yelled trying to get his attention.

"It feels like acid being poured into your veins and eating your muscles, it feels like your whole body is on fire from the inside and nothing but your death can put it out."

Hubert's heart rate began to elevate and his hands balled into fists, he knew the illusion's words were all true.

The tiny Edelgard's voice became more playful as the details became more lurid, "she could hear her sibling scream in agony until one by one they stopped, each time one of their voices could no longer be heard she knew she had lost another family member and wondered when she would be next."

Hubert's mind became scattered and he wasn't sure how to react, this wasn't real, he knew that much, but he knew this was all generated from his own psyche, the gruesome images of Edelgard's torture were planted inside his troubled mind and thus he provided the cave with all the material it needed to drive him mad.

"She had no more tears left to shed when the last of her siblings died" the illusion mocked, "your little princess cried out to her father, she cried out to the Goddess, but not you, she knew you were too weak and stupid to save her just as you're too weak and stupid to save her now."

"Enough" Hubert shouted as he turned and fired a mire spell at the evil illusion.

The young Edelgard disappeared but Hubert was still horribly distressed. He wiped tears away from his painted face, and quickly succumbed to the feeling of dizziness that overcame him, causing the vassal to drop to his knees.

In his dismay, Hubert wondered why the hell he had to be born in the first place, it was as if failure and suffering were his soul purpose in life. He would never be happy, he would never be fulfilled. Hubert couldn't go back and save little Edelgard, she would never reciprocate his feelings towards her, not that he would deserve such happiness. Hubert knew his father had been right all along, he was nothing but an embarrassment.

"Oh look" a voice said in a derisive tone, "a sad clown."

Hubert looked up to see five Agarthan soldiers approaching him.

"I hope you're not illusions as well" Hubert said with a glare that was menacing even for him, "because I really need someone to murder right about now."

Hubert hammered the soldier with a mire spell that sent him flying into the cave wall. A second soldier rushed towards Hubert armed with a spear, Hubert dodged the man's attempt at stabbing him and struck the Agarthan down with a fire ball before stealing his spear. Both Agarthans Hubert blasted were damaged but still alive.

The three other soldiers surrounded Hubert but the enraged vassal wasn't going to allow himself to be intimidated.

Hubert managed to block their attacks with his skilled use of a spear, a skill he learned from Byleth during his time as a student, spearmanship being a budding talent for him in those days.

The vassal noticed the Agarthan he blasted with mire had recovered and was moving towards him with an axe, Hubert used an upward thrust of his spear, stabbing the man up through his throat, a wound that was so deep Hubert had to pull the weapon downwards to dislodge it from his opponent's brain.

As he continued to battle, the Agarthans numbers advantage became too much and Hubert was hit with a fire ball from one of the villains, he stumbled only to be punched in the back of the head by another Agarthan positioned behind him, the blow from which sent the clown to the hard cave floor.

The Agarthan whose spear Hubert stole, managed to get back to his feet and snatched back his weapon as Hubert was left dazed on the ground. "I'll be taking this back" he proclaimed.

The Agarthan responsible for nearly knocking Hubert out decided it was time to finish the clown off and he raised his axe ready to strike the final blow, but just then a strange noise could be heard moving towards the men, an irritating screeching sound.

The Agarthan looked up to see the annoyger troll rushing at him with his teeth bared.

The tiny green beast leapt at the axe wielder and attached himself to the man's head. "What in the hell is this thing" he yelled as he tried to pull the creature off of him, the annoyger bit down on the man's head and the Agarthan screamed in agony, "keep still" the spearman instructed as he readied his weapon before swinging it like a baseball bat, cracking the troll so hard he flew backwards into the shadows and out of view.

With the annoying monster dealt with, the four remaining soldiers turn their attention back to Hubert.

The spearman stabbed the clown in his shoulder causing him to yell out in pain, the spear wielder attempted a finishing Blow but Hubert was able to use his other arm to summon a fire ball that knocked him backwards on his Agarthan ass.

The others weren't amused and started kicking Hubert while he was on the ground, one of the men kicked Hubert in the stomach so hard he was rendered breathless and came to the realization that this was it, he was finally going to die after cheating death so many times before, at least he'd die in service of his Emperor he thought.

The men looked down at the defeated clown smugly, knowing he couldn't possibly put up any more of a fight. The axe wielder readied his axe again, "end of the line for you jester" he yelled before hearing yet another voice booming from the shadows, "leave Hubert alone!"

A small figure emerged from the darkness with an axe in hand, three of the four men last a mere couple of seconds before they were cut down by the tiny axe wielder.

The spearman got back to his feet and notice Edelgard staring at him with a look of intensity that made the tiny Emperor appear as if she stood seven feet tall.

"How did you escape" he stuttered in fear as she walked towards him. Edelgard gripped him by the throat and slammed his head into the cave walls, turning his brains to mush.

El rushed to her vassal and immediately applied healing magic on his wounded shoulder, "Hubert" she said with concern "are you alright?" With her hand on his arm he knew this was no illusion, the emperor was really here with him and she was okay.

Hubert looked at her with relief before the memories of the little Edelgard illusion came flooding back.

"Forgive me, Lady Edelgard" he said as he fought back tears, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when they took you, I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, I'm sorry.."

Hubert stopped as Edelgard failed to hold back a giggle, "Lady Edelgard" he said bewildered, "I'm sorry Hubert he he haa ha ha ha" she laughed " he ha you just look so stupid ha ha ha ha.." "Come now, Lady Edelgard this is hardly the time for laughter" Hubert complained, El's only possible response was to laugh even harder, "HA HA HA HA HA YOO HA HA YOU'RE A HA HA HA WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A CLOWN?" Hubert had almost forgotten how foolish he looked and Edelgard was the last person he wanted to see him like this.

"Lady Edelgard" he said trying to be patient, "I was turned to a clown by that vile little monstrosity" he pointed at the annoyger who was making his way towards them after being struck across the cave.

"HE HA HA HA HA HA THAT LITTLE MONSTER TURNED YOU INTO A CLOWN" she laughed as she eyed the strange beast.

"Yes" Hubert replied, "it has been nothing short of a nightmare" he explained "I even resorted to performing tricks at the opera theater."

Just when Edelgard thought she couldn't laugh any harder, she erupted into a laughing fit at the thought of Hubert performing as a clown, "AH HA HA HA HA I WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO HAVE SEEN THAT HA HA HA..."

Hubert couldn't help but to be frustrated that his Emperor wasn't taking this a seriously as he was, the woman was struggling to breathe from laughing so hard.

"I'm glad you find this all so amusing, your Majesty" he said in a litigious voice of bitter disapproval. El was helpless to stop herself from laughing even harder, "YO HOO YOU NEED TO STOP TALKING OR I'LL DIE" she laughed as she pressed her head against Hubert's shoulder.

Hubert did relinquish a small grin, at this point even he had to see the humor in the situation.

Edelgard caught her breath and wiped away tears as her and Hubert got to their feet.

"Are you going to be alright Hubert" Edelgard asked.

"Thanks to your ever improving skills in the use of healing magic your Majesty, all that remains damaged is my pride" Hubert said while rotating his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I laughed at you Hubert" the Emperor said, "but it is nice to see a smile on your face, even if it is painted on."

As he looked down at the annoyger troll, Hubert realized they needed to gather up the others and exit this horrid cave. "Lady Edelgard" Hubert stated still rubbing his shoulder, "I am not alone, the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force are here searching for you."

Before El could reply, her ears were blessed with the sound of what she considered the most beautiful voice in the world. "Hubert are you here?"

It had to be her beloved Byleth.

The former professor stepped out from the shadows along with Ferdinand. "Hubert... and Edelgard" the orange haired man proclaimed with an enthusiastic tone, "we found you!"

Byleth and Edelgard carefully approached one another as if their brains could not process what they were seeing.

Byleth reached out and touched El's arm, "you're not an illusion" she said with a smile, "neither are you" is all Edelgard could think to utter as her gaze remain locked on the blue eyes of her wife.

For the next three to five seconds the lovers simply stared at each other as if they never laid eyes on another person before, then at seemingly the same time they snapped out of their trance and the two women embraced in a kiss that looked like they needed the other's lips just to breathe.

The powerful women gripped each other so tight it was a wonder neither woman was injured.

"You do realize we're still here" Ferdinand asked the women with his hand on his head as the annoyger troll made gagging sounds of disgust.

"Ahem" Hubert spoke in a tone he hoped would suffice in getting the lovers attention. The vassal actually pondered if the ladies could pass out from the lack of oxygen.

Byleth forced herself to pull away from El, "we need to split up and collect the others" she said still peering deeply into the beautiful purple eyes of her beloved.

The transfixed Emperor could only nod in agreement.

"Ferdinand and I will retrieve Petra, Lindhardt, and Dorothea" Hubert stated.

"That's fine" Byleth said with a nod, "El and I will gather the others and we'll all meet outside."

Hubert bowed before walking off with the annoyger and Ferdinand.  
\------------

As he walked along side Hubert and the annoyger, Ferdinand seemed as if he longed to break the silence between them.

"So Hubert" he said trying not to sound awkward, "you must be quite happy that we have found Edelgard?"

"Yes of course" Hubert replied as he kept a brisk pace.

Ferdinand was hoping Hubert would be a tad more loquacious and was left searching his mind for something to say.

"Did you get that package of ground coffee beans I sent you" Ferdinand asked.

"Yes" Hubert recalled, "I did, thank you for that."

It only took a few more seconds of silence to break Ferdinand and the orange haired man came right out and quickly divulged what was really on his mind.

"Hubert, about that letter I sent you."

Hubert's clown face displayed an intense annoyance that you'd expect could only be caused by the tiny green creature beside him.

"I told you there is no need to speak of it" Hubert said hoping the Prime Minister would drop the subject.

"You did say that, but I feel strongly that we should discuss the matter" Ferdinand replied in a voice that sounded as if it took him a vast amount of courage just to utter that sentence.

"I am not comfortable speaking of your.... perversions." "Perversions" Ferdinand said, sounding rather puzzled, "I am surprise to hear you say that after the mistress you hold in such regard professed her love for another woman to which she is now happily married."

Hubert had to take a breath before responding, "Ferdinand" he said in a formal voice, "it isn't as if I am not fond of you, you are a good man and the time we have spent together has been rather enjoyable I will admit, but..well...."

As Hubert trailed off, Ferdinand cut in and tried to get to the heart of the matter, "is it Edelgard?"

"What" Hubert snapped, "what does Lady Edelgard have to do with any of this?"

"Come now Hubert" Ferdinand smirked, "it is clear that you harbor feelings for her."

Hubert was about to blatantly deny such a statement but somehow couldn't.

"My feelings towards Lady Edelgard are complicated and not your concern" he said sounding more irritated than before.

"It's alright Hubert I understand" Ferdinand told him, "but if you ever need me I will be here for you."

The annoyger rolled his eyes awkwardly, as even he began to feel uncomfortable.  
\--------------------

Petra, Lindhardt, and Dorothea had found themselves staring at a dead end.

"We will need to be turning back" Petra said with a somewhat disheartened look.

"We came all this way for nothing" Lindhardt complained.

"It's alright" Dorothea said trying her best to sound optimistic, "I'm sure another group has already found Edie safe and sound."

Petra's eyes gazed lower than usual, "I am hoping you are right Dorothea" she said with a melancholy tone that revealed her dispirited state of mind.

"Everything will work out Petra" Dorothea said with a smile, "I promise."

Dorothea had something else on her mind that she felt wouldn't be particularly appropriate to discuss, but with Petra and Lindhardt discouraged she thought a change in subject wouldn't be all that unwelcomed, and she knew it wasn't likely she would get another chance to bring it up.

"I must say" the songstress spoke with her arms behind her back in a coy manner, "Brigid sure is a nice place, Petra."

"I am glad you are thinking that" the queen replied with a grin. "You know, I wouldn't mind staying here for awhile" Dorothea said with her eyes forward not sure if she should glance at her friend.

"That would not be good, Dorothea" Petra said, "a filthy street walker like you would not be welcome here."

Dorothea stopped in her tracks as her head darted towards Petra, "excuse me."

"I said it would give me much joy for you to stay" Petra stated with a beaming smile.

Before the singer could respond she noticed her feet were bare and covered in dirt. Dorothea looked down puzzled much to Petra and Lindhardt's notice.

"Dorothea" Lindhardt said with confusion, "what's wrong."

Just then Petra turns when she hears a growling sound in the distance.

"Ah...Petra" Lindhardt says, with a hint of nervousness in his voice, "is everything okay?"

Dorothea looks for her shoes when she realizes her hands are also covered in black dirt and she is wearing a soiled gown that reeked of refuse.

The songstress looked up and could no longer see Petra or Lindhardt.

Instead she saw the familiar sight of the back alley she once slept in when she was a child. "This can't be" she declared, "I can't be here."

Trying to calm her mind, Dorothea clasped her hands together.

"Hello there young lady" a man's voice said. Dorothea turned to see a well dressed man standing near her with a friendly smile.

"Who are you" she asked the stranger.

The man grinned devilishly, "it matters not who I am" he said as he eyed her lecherously, "what matters is that I could help you get off these harsh streets, that is, if you're a good girl for me."

Dorothea backed away from the man with disgust, "leave me alone" she ordered.

"No need to be alarmed my dear" he said as he stepped closer to her, "I hear you're quite the singer. I wonder if you're a good dancer as well."

Dorothea's hands balled up in fists as she eyed the man with contempt.

"What do you say" he said playfully, " would you like to dance for me little girl" his smile growing wider and more devious as the words left his mouth.

Dorothea powered up her magic but suddenly she was tackled to the ground.

She looked up to see that she was back in the cave and wearing her clothes, but she was more than a little surprised to see Petra on top of her with her sword against her throat.

"Die vile mahawka, you will not be consuming me" the Brigid queen yelled.

"Petra stop" Lindhardt cried out in a voice far harsher than normal, "what are you doing."

Petra placed her hand over her mouth when she realized she had nearly killed Dorothea.

"Petra honey" Dorothea managed to utter with clear fear in her voice, "could you be a dear and not kill me please."

Petra stood up with tears in her eyes, "Dorothea" she yelled out, "please be forgiving me."

"It's okay Petra" the singer replied in a calm tone, "it wasn't your fault, this cave is messing with us."

Petra placed her hand on her temple as if her head was in pain.

"I thought you were a mahawka" the woman explained. "A what" Lindhardt said as he furrowed his brow.

Petra put her sword away, "the mahawka is a monster of Brigid legend" she said, "when I was a child, other children told me a mahawka would come at night and eat me."

Dorothea walked over and held Petra's hand, "It's alright" she said as she peered deep into the Queen's eyes, "I promise I won't eat you."

The two women looked at one another and both women started to form a light blush on their cheeks.

"There you are" a voice boomed.

"Hubert" Lindhardt replied as the vassal stepped into view along with Ferdinand and the annoyger.

"We have found Lady Edelgard" Hubert announced.

"Is she okay" Dorothea asked, her eyes wide with concern and anticipation, "Our Emperor is just fine" Ferdinand said in the confident tone in which he often spoke, "now let us all exit this horrid place at once."

"Finally" Lindhardt said as the five of them made their way towards the cave's entrance.  
\-----------------------

Edelgard and Byleth walked through the cave hand in hand, "and so Halvok managed to escape" El stated as she glance downwards with a look of disappointment displayed clearly on her face.

"What matters is you're safe" Byleth said softly.

The former mercenary was so happy and relieved to be holding her lover's hand and being able to speak with her again after all that had transpired.

Byleth wanted to tell her wife how hard things have been not having her around and how she was consumed with worry when she was taken captive, but Byleth wasn't very good with words, she often held to her taciturn nature to avoid saying the wrong thing.

Although she wasn't sure exactly what to say, she had an overwhelming urge to say something and so she blurted out what came to mind.

"I'm sorry I said you're crown was stupid and made you look like a goat" Byleth said a little louder than she intended.

El just smiled and held back a giggle at her wife's abrupt statement, she had come to see Byleth's awkwardness as cute and charming.

"It's alright my love" Edelgard replied as she looked at Byleth with a kind smirk, "I know you didn't mean that."

"I'm also sorry about Hubert" Byleth said.

Edelgard stopped and turned to Byleth with a puzzled stare, "Hubert" she said not knowing what she was talking about.

"It was my fault Hubert was turned into a clown" Byleth confessed, "I'm sure it was me the troll was after but he cursed Hubert instead."

"I think it's more likely I was the one the creature was sent after" the Emperor said, "and to tell you the truth I kind of like Hubert better this way."

Both women began to laugh. "Did you know he performed as a clown at the opera house" Edelgard chuckled, "he did" Byleth asked with a smile.

"He must have looked like such a fool" El laughed as she held both Byleth's hands as they both cracked up at the vassal's misfortune.

"He's never going to live this down" Byleth said, which caused Edelgard to laugh even harder.

Both women had to struggle not to erupt in a laughing fit in the middle of the dark and eerie cave. El buried her head in Byleth's chest to hold her laughter in. The Emperor then looked up at her Empress' beautiful eyes before she pulled her in for a passionate kiss.

Byleth wrapped her arms around Edelgard never wanting to let her go. The lovers embrace however, would soon be interrupted by footsteps making the way towards the two of them.

Caspar, Bernadetta, and Lysithea stepped into view.

"Edelgard" Lysithea said with glee, "you're okay."

"Seriously Lysithea" Caspar said, "you're not really buying this are you?"

"What are you talking about" Lysithea asks.

Caspar rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"This cave has been messing with us since we got here" he reminded her, "this isn't really Byleth and Edelgard it's just another illusion, haven't you guys learned anything about this place."

"Ah I don't know Caspar" Bernie said in a shaky tone, "it really looks like them."

"We are not illusions" Edelgard says with clear annoyance. "Yeah right" Caspar mocks, "that's exactly what an illusion would say."

"Look guys" Caspar says turning to Bernie and Lysithea, "If they were real could I get away with telling our former Professor that the reason I always wanted her to show me grappling techniques when I was a student was because I wanted those big, soft breast of hers pressing against me."

"Caspar" Lysithea shouted.

"What, I was a teenager with a damn nice looking teacher" Caspar shrugged as Byleth and Edelgard glared at him with disapproval.

"It's not like their real anyway" the blue haired man said.

"Hey Emperor Edelgard, did you know that Byleth here called you her honeybun in front of everyone."

As Caspar laughed, El covered her face with her hand to hide how red she was becoming as she groaned with embarrassment.

"See" he smiled, "the real Byleth would have clobbered me.

Before he could turn back to look at his former professor, Byleth cracked Caspar in the head with a punch that sent him to the ground.

"Ahha" Bernadetta shrieked, "either they're real or the illusions found a way to attack us."

"Caspar, stop acting foolishly" Edelgard commanded, "we need to get out of here."

Lysithea and Bernadetta helped Caspar to his feet.

"You are such an idiot' the white haired mage said scornfully as the groggy Caspar tries to maintain his balance.

"We'll met with the other outside" Byleth instructed, "now get moving."

\------------  
"Thank the Goddess we're finally out of that heinous cavern" Hubert muttered in relief as he stepped outside the cave and into the Brigid sun.

Behind Hubert, Ferdinand and the annoyger troll are next to step out into the open.

"Ah, what a fine feeling it is to experience the beautiful breeze of the outside world" Ferdinand said as he gazed up at the blue sky, "do you not agree, Hubert?"

'Yes yes lovely" Hubert said curtly as he searched his pockets.

"Damn it where are they" Hubert bemoaned frantically.

"Where is what, Hubert" Ferdinand asked with his right hand on his head looking perplexed.

"The damn monodon seeds" he yelled, "the ones that control this repulsive creature" nodding at the annoyger.

The little monster shakes his head in disapproval before he powers up a magic ball and tosses it at Hubert.

The vassal raises his arms to shield himself.

After feeling no impact at all, Hubert looks down at his garments and discovers that he is once again wearing his typical apparel and not that of a clown.

"Does my face still look a painted mess" he asks Ferdinand.

"No, you're back to normal" he answered with a laugh, "Perhaps you owe this little creature an apology for treating him so harshly."

"Pfft" Hubert says dismissively, "I will not be apologizing to the grotesque monstrosity that left me looking like an utter fool."

The annoyger gave Hubert a stern look.

"I will however offer you my gratitude for lifting the curse, even without being presented with seeds."

The annoyger folded his tiny green arms and shrugged while simultaneously nodding his head to the side as a form of acknowledgement.

"Well I'll be" Lindhardt said as he exited the cave along with Dorothea and Petra, "it appears the Hubert's monster turned him back to normal."

"Aw, too bad Hubie, I was just starting to get used to you being a clown" Dorothea teased.

"Lady Edelgard" Petra cried out with excitement as she turned to see the Emperor and Empress along with Lysithea and Bernadetta who were sill struggling to keep Caspar steady on his feet.

"Hello everyone" El said softly, "I am truly grateful that you came all this way to save me."

"I hope you will be forgiving me" Petra said with a bow, "I am much at fault for you being captured."

"The fault is with the Agarthans" El states.

"Just who are these people" Lindhardt asks.

"They are the ones Hubert dubbed, Those Who Slither In The Dark" Edelgard explains, "I have had a rather long and arduous history with them going back to early childhood."

"Oh Edie no" Dorothea says with dread, "they didn't tickle you too did they?"

"No" Edelgard answers, "they took my siblings and I to a rat infested dungeon and cut open our flesh to allow mystical energy to surge through our open wounds. It was an unimaginably painful and horrifying experience that caused my brothers and sisters to suffer, go mad, and die while I had survived to be endowed with the crest of flames. Now every night I have terrible dreams of seeing my family bleed out and hearing their screams echo through the dark dungeon."

The group stare at El speechless.

"Oh" Dorothea says with eyes wide open, "I guess I got off pretty easy."

"Holy shit" Caspar yells out, "I definitely didn't expect that kind of backstory in a Nintendo game."

"Yeah, that's horrible" Lysithea agrees, "I can't imagine going through something like that."

El's head snapped back towards the small white haired girl, "What are you talking about Lysithea, you went through the same thing."

"No I didn't" the mage replied.

"Yes you did" the Emperor said in a frustrated tone, "you told me you and several other children were kidnapped and experimented on, and than you told me you were the only one who survived."

"Oh that" Lysithea says, "Yeah I was kidnapped by the Agarthans as a child but that wasn't the same thing."

"How can that not be the same thing" El asked with a furrowed brow.

"The Agarthans were trying to create a new beauty product so they experimented on us by giving us pills that they hoped would change someone's hair color" Lysithea explains, "every time they would give one of the kids a pill they would end up dying, but by the time it was my turn they had improved the formula."

"But, but" Edelgard stuttered, "but you told me you were made to suffer horribly."

"I did" Lysithea says, shaking her head in confirmation, "those stupid pills had side effects, I had the shits for a week."

"What about your two crests and your shortened life span" Edelgard yelled, clearly growing upset by what she was hearing.

"Alright alright" the mage says, crossing her arms and looking down at the ground, "if you must know, my mother and father are cousins."

"Wow" Caspar shouts, "we're finding out all kinds of crazy shit today."

"Alright everyone" Byleth spoke up in a tone reminiscent of her days as a teacher when she'd have to be stern with an unruly bunch of youths.

"What's important is that everyone is alive and well, so we can head back to the empire and put all this behind us."

"That won't be so easy with one of the wyverns missing" Lindhardt said as he pointed towards the winged creatures.

"Halvok" Edelgard uttered in a tone her friends thought was reserved for Rhea and the Church of Seiros, "that coward must have stolen one of our wyverns to make his escape."

"You're only small El, so you can share a wyvern with me" Byleth said with a hint of a smile.

"That still doesn't solve our problem" said Ferdinand, "we are still short one wyvern."

"It's fine" Dorothea declared as she held her right hand in her left and gazed towards the ground, "I'm going to be staying here in Brigid."

"You're really going to be staying" Petra said with excitement. Dorothea nodded and the queen of Brigid couldn't help but to display a beaming grin of pure joy.

"Well I guess that solves that problem" Hubert says. "now let us get a move on shall we?"

"Wait Hubert" Ferdinand says swiftly, "there is yet another problem that requires a solution."

"And what would that be" the vassals asks, clearly not being keen on hearing what issue needed to be addressed at the moment.

"What about the annoyger here" Ferdinand gestured towards the tiny creature.

Hubert glared at the beast with a devilish smile, "oh I have a plan for dealing with him."

"What are you going to do to him" Bernadetta asked with caution in her voice.

"I've decide the only proper place for such a creature is to be placed with the only beast in all of Fodlan more irksome than he is" Hubert explained as he picked up the troll and placed him under his arm like an inanimate object, the green monster simply darted his head back and forth in confusion.

Hubert placed the troll on his wyvern and he along with the others mounted their winged reptiles and flew off as Petra and Dorothea waved from the ground below.  
\--------------------------

-Three weeks later-  
Dorothea brushed her long, beautiful brown hair from her face as she awoken in a large bed with just a thin bed sheet covering her body.

The weather in Brigid was much hotter than what the songstress was used to but the breeze that flowed from seemingly everywhere was enough to make it tolerable even for a pale skinned foreigner like her.

She stretched her arms and legs before turning to see that Petra had unsurprisingly already left.

The queen of Brigid was often up at the crack of dawn to deal with the many tasks a leader had to tend to.

Dorothea swung around and placed her feet on the floor and her elbows on her knees. As she rubbed her eyes she knew exactly what she needed to start the day.

That wonderful elixir that she had become very fond of, a drink she could get far easier in Brigid but she kept forgetting the name of.

The drink Lysithea sold at her shop, the drink Hubert fancied... "oh yes" she thought, "coffee."

After pouring herself a cup of the dark beverage she was slowly becoming addicted to, Dorothea stepped out onto a luxurious, white colored balcony with her coffee in hand while wearing a black swimsuit and a matching black hat.

The songstress had come to deeply enjoy her time in Brigid even if she wasn't very proficient in speaking the language nor was she able to see Petra as often as she would have liked to given the Queen's hectic schedule.

Despite this, she was glad she stayed.

Being a personal guest of the queen had plenty of perks.

Dorothea's day revolved around deciding what new food to try and choosing between buying new clothes at the market or staying in and having the servant girls massage her all day.

"Maybe I'll have that fish soup they serve down the street" she thought to herself, "I think I like it but it's been awhile."

Just then she heard the door downstairs burst open, for a brief moment Dorothea wondered if she should summon her magic to defend herself.

Petra's home was grand and refined but nothing like the massive castle that Edelgard and Byleth lived in.

There wasn't much in the way of security.

The people of Brigid were known for being strong warriors, but their lifestyle was much more easygoing than that of the Adrestians. For that reason and perhaps the fact that they were not nearly as wealthy a nation, The Queen's home was not a fortress and someone could easily enter the premises.

When Dorothea stepped inside she could see a very excited Petra holding an envelope.

"Petra" Dorothea said with joy and surprise, "I didn't expect to see you here so early."

"I have a letter from Lady Edelgard" Petra stated with glee, "I was hoping we could be reading it together."

"Aww that's so sweet" Dorothea smiled.

"I also am not as good at reading your language as you are and Edelgard will probably be writing big words I am not familiar with."

Dorothea chuckled and took the letter from Petra and led the queen to the bed where they both sat down and opened the envelope.

Dorothea cuddled next to Petra who placed her arm around her and the songstress read aloud.

Dear Petra and Dorothea  
I hope the two of you are doing well in Brigid.  
Please inform the people of your nation that I am truly sorry for what transpired the last time I came to visit. At the very least we were able to sign a treaty that I believe will greatly help towards allowing the people of Brigid to move forward and cut their own path as an independent nation that will no doubt have a great future ahead of it.  
I hope you'll inform your elders that I was honored to have met them and I wish that we could have had a proper goodbye.

Things here in Adrestia are steadily reverting back to normal after the chaos that ensued in my absence.  
Several buildings that were damaged including Lysithea's "Fellstar Bucks" are under reconstruction. Some, including Lysithea's coffee shop have already reopened.  
Lysithea has informed me that her shop has had a massive boost in customers after it's become common knowledge that wyverns are able to fly at much higher speeds after ingesting coffee.  
Lysithea has asked me about opening another business involving the use of larger wyverns energized by coffee for the use of mass migration. She refers to her new idea as an "air port."  
I told her that i cannot allow such a thing to exist until she first finds a way to nullify the excessive defecation that several of the animals seem to experience under the influence of the beverage. The last thing we need is wyvern shit dropped all over Fodlan.  
The ever ambitious Lysithea has recruited Lindhardt to help her find a solution to this problem, a task that seems to have peeked his interest.  
Why he has the sudden fascination with the bowel movements of wyverns escapes me but, I am glad to see him take an interest in anything other than crests for a change.  
Perhaps Dorothea will recall Kalin, the Agarthan woman who was captured by my knights.  
For her role in the anarchy that befell the Empire, I have sentenced her to a life as Lysithea's servant.  
At first I thought this to be a merciful punishment when compared to a life in prison but, when I saw her at the Fellstar Bucks cleaning the floor with a toothbrush as Lysithea harshly ordered her to scrub harder unless she wanted to be "dark spiked into oblivion," I now feel that perhaps my sentencing was too harsh after all.

I've have not heard from Bernadetta as of late, which is usually the case as she spends most of her time alone at home, but last I heard she was working on another novel about a heroine who learns to overcome her fear of clowns by helping one save the world.

I have unfortunately been forced to suspend Caspar from his duties as commander-in-chief for reasons I'm sure will come of no surprise.  
Due to his violent and drunkenly behavior, he was banned from the last pub in the entire Empire that would still allow him to enter their establishment.  
As a requirement for his reinstatement, he must undergo counselling for his issues with alcohol and his truculent outbursts.

I'm thrilled to report that both Hubert and Ferdinand seem to be getting along far better as of late.  
They have formulated a theory that Halvok and the Agarthans were not alone in their plot against me.  
It turns out annoyger trolls like the one that transformed Hubert, are highly rare and expensive creatures.  
Perhaps nobles discontent with being stripped of their influence may also have been involved.  
Speaking of annoygers, Hubert sent the one that cursed him to live with his mother. Last I heard the two were getting along swimmingly.  
I'm glad that Ms. Von Vestra has some company, she has always been a strange woman and thus a less than ordinary pet my be just what she needs.

Byleth and I have had to work tirelessly to restore the Empire after the demonic beast attack, and things are starting to become stable again.  
Things are going so well here that Byleth and I are going to be taking a brief vacation to Remire Village. Byleth and I will likely be arriving in Remire for our five day get away by the time this letter reaches you both.  
It has been far too long since I have had the privilege of spending much time alone with my beloved wife, although I fear she is more interested in revisiting her old fishing spots.  
I will be leaving Hubert and Ferdinand in charge of the Empire in our absence.  
I just hope they can manage to remain amicable towards one another for five days without supervision.  
It has come to my attention that a week from now marks the one year anniversary of our victory over the Church Of Seiros.  
Therefore upon our return to Adrestia, Byleth and I will be preparing a small get together with the entire Black Eagles Strike Force.  
I am very much hoping to see you both at the castle in one week.  
We will send two of Lysithea's coffee powered Wyverns to fetch you, so you'll be here in no time.  
Until then, Byleth and I send our utmost love and well wishes to both of you.  
-Edelgard Von Hresvelg  
\-------------

Ferdinand stands in an open area in the Adrestian castle, he places his gloves over his hands and scans the majestic structure allowing his gaze to be captured by the decadence that surrounds him.

"Are you ready yet" he hears Hubert ask from not too far behind him.

Ferdinand turns and greets the vassal with a gleeful smile.

"Hubert" he says with excitement, "I must say it is strange seeing you without your clown apparel."

"If you wish to continue breathing I suggest you never again bring that up" Hubert said with a sharp glare.

"Come now Hubert, I think you looked rather fetching as a court jester" Ferdinand stated with his sly grin still etched on his face.

"I care not for your thoughts on the matter, especially when there is important work to be done."

"Fear not Hubert" Ferdinand replied, "I am ready to bring some disgraceful former nobles to justice."

"Good then let us make haste" Hubert responds trying to hold back his clear annoyance.

The two men make their way outside of the castle into the bright daylight.

"So where are we headed" Ferdinand asks.

"My informant has told me one of the suspects is currently in a town nearby" Hubert says as they make their way towards a large carriage with four soldiers inside.

Ferdinand stops and turns to Hubert with his right hand placed firmly against his hip, "great work Hubert" he praised, "we will no doubt be facing off against those villains in what is sure to be a display of great manliness."

"Manliness" Hubert scoffs, "what are you talking about?"

"Well" Ferdinand said gingerly as he placed his left hand against his head, "you know, you and I will be looking rather heroic to onlookers."

"I care not for what onlookers will think" Hubert says crossing his arms.

"Oh neither do I" the orange haired man shrugs, "I'm just saying that we will appear so heroic that our masculine nature will be unquestionable even if we were to, I don't know... hold hands."

"We are not holding hands" Hubert snapped.

"Of course not" Ferdinand said with waving gesture, "but if we did no one would see it as inappropriate for two men..."

"I will see it as inappropriate" Hubert interrupted in a course tone.

The vassal pulls open the carriage door and orders Ferdinand to get inside and behave himself. With his hands raised in a mock surrender the former noble obeys and the carriage takes off.  
\------------------

When Byleth and Edelgard arrive in Remire village, the couple enter the cabin Byleth used to live in with her father almost six years earlier.

Byleth prattles on about all the places she wants to take El.

"There's the pond nearby with lots of fish and there's another but it doesn't have as much fish so you really don't want to see that, there's a restaurant around here that my father and I would go and they'd let us eat for free if we tossed out the drunks and trouble makers like Caspar, there's also the bakery that Misses Londor runs that is if she's even still alive..."

"Byleth my love" El interrupts, "I know you're excited but I really just want to get settled in right now. "Edelgard places a hand on Byleth's shoulder and kisses her on the cheek.

"Why don't you take out your fishing rod and catch us some food while I get unpacked."

"Are you sure" the blue haired woman asks.

"Of course, besides you don't want to let all those old men down at the river take all the best fish do you?"

"You're right El, I'll get going" Byleth smiles before kissing El on the head and rushing outside.

Edelgard peers around the corner to make sure Byleth is gone, when the coast is clear she heads towards a large leather bag on the bed and opens it to reveal a large, recently sharpened silver axe.

She lifts it out of the bag and eyes it with mischievous delight. "Byleth will go fishing" she says aloud, "and I'll go hunting."  
\----------------------

Eugene, the haughty former noble with a thin frame, sits in a rather elegant looking club sipping some red wine when he overhears a conversation of two men sitting behind him.

"Signing a treaty in Brigid she was, and those underground folks took her captive" one man says.

"Yes I heard she butchered the lot of them, fools thinking they could get the better of the Emperor."

"The Emperor" Eugene interrupted, "what about the Emperor."

"Not to worry lad" one of the men said, "the Emperor was kidnapped at Brigid by those creepy people who live underground but she managed to kill em all and escape."

"Oh, did she" Eugene said with a look of dread on his pale face.

"Sure did" the other man laughed, "ya gotta be some kind of stupid to mess with the girl who laid waste to a dragon in Faerghus."

Eugene stood up and made his way to the exit, "this isn't good" he says to himself.

The former noble turns the corner and nearly crashes into Hubert.

"Ah" he squealed as Hubert stared a hole in him.

"In the name of the Adrestian Empire you are now under arrest."

Ferdinand and the soldiers surround Eugene much to the notice of a man less than fifty feet away.

The man is Father Godwin, a priest of the western church involved in the same plot as Eugene.

"By the Goddess' bosom" he proclaims as he turns and swiftly walks away in the opposite direction hoping to the Goddess above he wouldn't be noticed. "That big mouth Eugene will no doubt tell the Emperor's Vassal everything, I must warn the others."  
\--------------  
Later that night both Hubert and Ferdinand are speaking in the conference room of the castle.

"It appears you were correct to be suspicious of the former nobility, Hubert" Ferdinand says as he sits at the conference table with a somber look on his face.

"I always thought highly of the nobility and felt it to be necessary for social order, so much so that I believed Edelgard's disassembling of the system to be a huge mistake"

Ferdinand pauses as Hubert continues to pace back and forth, "but now I have to wonder if I had been a fool this whole time, it is a feeling that I must confess disturbs me to no end."

Hubert stops and turns to the orange haired man.

"Yes I" Hubert stops briefly to ponder his next words carefully as he crosses his arms, "I understand that discovering something new about yourself can be rather daunting."

"What do you mean" Ferdinand asks, "well you have always prided yourself on being a noble and not only has that system been removed but you find yourself wondering if perhaps you ever really were a noble... wait I mean.."

"No Hubert" Ferdinand cuts in, "I think you're on to something, perhaps the nobility was not what I felt it was, thus I was never truly a noble to begin with, and now I am uncertain who I am."

Hubert stands over Ferdinand and places his hand on the man's shoulder.  
"What is important is that we prepare to find this location that our cowardly prisoner has revealed to us and bring his cohorts to justice."

"Are you certain that this Eugene character can be trusted" asks Ferdinand, "I trust him to do what is in his best interests" Hubert answers with a grin.  
\-------------------

With her axe in hand, Edelgard arrives back at the cabin as the sun is starting to set.

Byleth pops her head out and the Emperor quickly hides her axe behind her back.

"El where have you been" Byleth asks "I've just finished cooking the fish I caught."

Byleth steps back in the kitchen as Edelgard tries to explain herself while sneaking off to hide her axe.

"I was just going for a walk" Edelgard stammers, "how was your time fishing, my love?"

"I may not have caught as many as those old men but they were there three hours earlier" Byleth states while moving about in the kitchen.

No longer holding her axe, Edelgard manages to slip back in the kitchen just in time for Byleth to hand her a plate of cooked fish.

"I caught some Airmid Pike" Byleth says, "I admit I'm not used to cooking them but I think it turned out okay."

"It looks very nice, my love" Edelgard smiles.

Later that night the women are getting ready for bed.

Wearing a light purple nightgown, Edelgard sits in front of a mirror brushing her long white hair when Byleth enters the bedroom wearing nothing but dark colored underwear and holding a hanger with the clothing she wore throughout the day.

The sight of her wife's beautiful body still takes El off guard every time she watches her muscular frame and soft white skin, the Emperor tries hard to not start blushing.

Byleth opens the closet and hangs up her clothes when Edelgard's silver axe that was tucked into the dark far side of the closet falls down to the floor.

"Oh no" Edelgard thinks as she notices the weapon.

Byleth picks up the axe and turns to El with a puzzled look on her face.

"El honey, did you bring an axe."

"Yes" Edelgard response far more speedily than she had wanted to.

"Yes I did....I thought it would be good to take it in case we needed to protect ourselves."

"That makes sense" Byleth says as she placed the axe back in the closet.

Edelgard takes a deep breath in utter relief.

"But why didn't you tell me you took it and why is it tucked away so I can't see it?"

Edelgard realizes she should have known better than to try and keep things from Byleth and the Emperor puts her brush down and slowly turns to meet Byleth's gaze.

"Alright, truth be told it was revealed to me by an informant that there were sightings of a purple skinned man with a strange shaped head in this area."

Byleth furrowed her brow and crossed her arms.

"All this time you just wanted to come here to hunt down Halvok?"

Byleth's stern tone wasn't something Edelgard was accustom to outside of a battlefield.

"No my love you've got it all wrong" El insists with puppy dog eyes, "I really wanted us to spend time together but if we could also kill that vile Agarthan then that would be a delightful bonus don't you think."

Byleth's angry glare changed to a look of sadness the sight of which made Edelgard suffer a giant wave of guilt.

"Please Byleth, don't be mad."

"You don't get to tell me how to feel" Byleth replies, "I know you hate the Agarthans and I know some horrible things happened to you because of them, but if you dwell on that forever and push aside all the people who stood by you," Byleth pauses to look directly at her wife, "then I'm afraid your loneliness will be your own fault, not their's."

"You know how dangerous he is" Edelgard said hoping her wife would understand.

"Yes I do, but you kept this from me and tried to make me believe you wanted to come here to do nothing but spend time with me in a place you know means a lot to me, and you went off looking for him by yourself instead of asking for my help which would have been a lot safer."

"I had too" El yelled, "don't you get it, these monsters are my responsibility, I set them loose on this world and I have to be the one to end them."

"Fine go ahead then" Byleth says as she slips into bed.

"Listen if you want to accompany me..."

"No" Byleth cuts in, "I came here to take a break and I don't give a wyvern's ass if Halvok is next door to us, if you want to go on a murder mission go by yourself, and be sure to take your dramatic self righteousness with you."

"Come on Byleth, you're not being very mature" El says as she starts to look angry and is clearly looking as if she's trying her damnedest to hold back from shouting.

"I'm going to sleep now so don't bother me" Byleth responds as she pulls the blankets over herself.

Edelgard's mind scrambles to find a solution to the problem of having an irritated wife.

The Emperor takes a moment and decides to take a different approach.

El makes her way towards Byleth and hops in the bed next to her.

"I understand you're rather cross with me right now and you are right to be" she says while stroking Byleth's hair, "I was wrong to keep my motives from you but I hope that you can forgive me."

Byleth doesn't respond, "please forgive me my love" El says in a soft playful tone, "my beloved...my.. teacher."

"I know you like it when I call you that" El teases, "My teacher, I've been a very naughty student and need to stay after class for some one on one discipline."

Byleth tries to hold back a grin as Edelgard gazes down on her with a coquettish wry.

"Well I wouldn't be much of a teacher if I didn't show an ill-mannered student some very tough love" Byleth says realizing damn well she can't stay mad at Edelgard, "alright miss Hresvelg, it's time for you to learn the error of your ways."  
\---------------------------

At the Club For Fancy Noble Folks, Henry is telling his co-conspirators that they have nothing to worry about.

"Despite the news Father Godwin disclosed to us earlier today, I am certain my mercenaries will provide adequate protection from the Emperor's vassal and his soldiers."

"I hope so" Angela says, "I'm far too beautiful to be sent to prison."

"Come now everyone" Landia pipes up, "we don't know if Eugene has even told them anything at all."

"Oh yes he did" Fredrick says with a scowl, "Eugene's a little bitch, he probably told them how many shits he took today."

"I just pray that Eugene is still alive" Father Godwin says, "the vassal had a sinister look on his face, I wouldn't be surprised if he had Eugene killed and we could all be next."

"We should have never trusted that Agarthan" Angela states while holding back tears.

"The mercenaries will protect us" Landia insists.

"What if the Emperor herself comes for us" Angela cries, "I heard when she was a small girl she murdered her own siblings and ate them one by one."

Outside Hubert and Ferdinand peer out from behind a thick bush.

"Well Hubert you were right to bring the soldiers with us" Ferdinand whispered as he and Hubert could see twenty armed men protecting the club.

"Yes but it appears we are outnumbered nevertheless" Hubert grumbles.

"Not to worry Hubert my friend" Ferdinand says with his fist raised, "the two of us together can overcome these ruffians."

"Do not get overzealous" Hubert warns, "those men are trained mercenaries."

"Then we need not hold back" Ferdinand replies confidently before signaling to the soldiers behind him that are concealed in the trees that stand to the side of the club.

As the six soldiers rush the mercenaries, Ferdinand and Hubert step in to aid in the fight.

The mercenaries are caught off guard and the soldiers manage to take out four of them.

Hubert spots a large axe wielder he feels would pose a threat and consumes him with a banshee attack dropping the mercenary count to fifteen.

Ferdinand takes on another spear wielder and quickly ends him with a well placed jab.

The former noble is then approached by two mercenaries both armed with swords.

Ferdinand kills one with a powerful upward thrust into the man's neck but the second proves more of a challenge and dodges the Prime Minister's attacks and landing a slash from his blade. Ferdinand's arm is lacerated but he pays the wound no mind and trips his foe with his spear before plunging it into his chest.

An archer raises his bow to fire at Ferdinand but Hubert blasts him with a mire spell that kills the mercenary and sends his arrow into the dirt.

Ferdinand looks up to see two more mercenaries have fallen at the hands of the soldiers of the Empire but he spots three of the soldiers lay dead on the ground.

Ferdinand in his typical headstrong nature, rushes in to the fray to defend the remaining soldiers without thinking.

"Ferdinand watch yourself" Hubert yells out, but the Prime Minster pays no mind.

Ferdinand takes out another mercenary but a second tackles him to the ground.

Hubert is forced to bombard Ferdinand's attacker with fireballs until he drops dead.

The vassal is however hit by the end of a spear by a mercenary that he was forced to take his eyes off of, and Hubert's body crashes to the ground as the spearmen prepares to finish him off.

"Nooo" Ferdinand yells as he pops up and runs towards the mercenary, he grabs him from behind and pulls him to the ground.

A few harsh punches are enough to knock out his adversary and Ferdinand looks over to see Hubert gingerly getting back to his feet.

"Hubert" he shouts with concern, "are you alright."

"I'm fine" he snarls, clearly not happy with Ferdinand's recklessness.

The two men look towards the Empire's soldiers and notice the remaining mercenaries are retreating into the forest, but out of the six soldiers only three are left standing.

"Alright men" Hubert says in his most devious voice, "it's time we deal with these vile former nobles."

Inside the club the nobles stare outside the window in hopes of getting a clear picture of what's transpiring outside.

"Where are the mercenaries" Henry asks when he can no longer see his hired body guards.

"They've been killed, and we're next" Angela sobs.

Hubert burst in the door with a look of potency in his green eyes.

"In the name of the Adrestian Empire, you folks are under arrest" Ferdinand declares.

The nobles look at one another not knowing what to do.

"Please don't kill me" Landia begs, "it was all their idea I swear."

"So much for your mercenaries" Father Godwin says to Henry.

"I should have known this would happen" Fredrick says in his bitter tone of voice, "you people are too stupid to do anything right."

As the nobles are taken away, Hubert and Ferdinand are alone in the club allowing Hubert to confront Ferdinand.

"Must you be so impetuous" scolds Hubert as he looks down at the wound on Ferdinand's arm.

"Perhaps I could have shown more caution" Ferdinand admits, "but you were there to aid me just as I knew you would."

"I know you are going through an identity crisis at the moment, but your life is valuable" the vassals says with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed.

"Not to worry Hubert" Ferdinand smiles, "I am very much aware of who I am, I may not be a noble anymore but I am still Ferdinand Von Aegir."

Hubert can't help but to smile, "yes you certainly are."

The nobles are sitting in a carriage with shackles on their wrists as the soldiers await orders from Ferdinand or Hubert.

"Are we to burry our fallen brothers" one of the soldiers asks, "I'll ask the Prime Minister" states another as he walks up to the club and opens the door to find Hubert and Ferdinand in an embrace.

As the two men relinquish their passionate kiss, they turn to the soldier who stands wide eyed in shock. "Is something wrong" Hubert asks. The man shakes his head and steps back outside.

"Perhaps we should get going" Ferdinand says "after all three of our soldiers were just killed.

"Yes" Hubert agrees with a nod as he rests his hand gently on the Prime Minister's shoulder, "we should also get you patched up."

\-------------------------------------  
The next morning, Edelgard ignores her aching backside from her late night antics with Byleth and gets herself dressed in her brigand outfit that she wore back at the academy.

Edelgard retrieves her axe from the closet and steps out to see Byleth wearing long, brown pants and long boots.

"Going out to fish are you my love" El asks her wife. "Sure am" Byleth says as she picks up her rod, "are you going to kill Halvok or rob the locals?"

"I thought my old brigand outfit would be the best choice for you know..." El starts to explain.

"Hunting down and killing a purple skinned man with an odd shaped head because of your inability to overcome your childhood trauma" Byleth cuts in with her deadpan stare and matter of fact tone of voice.

"I suppose that sums it up" Edelgard states as she walks over and gives Byleth a quick kiss on the lips and exits the cabin.

Later that afternoon Halvok stands near a rapidly flowing river and ponders why the wyvern he stole is no longer able to jet off at the extreme speed it did back when he confiscated the beast back in Brigid.

"Damn you, you abominable reptile" Halvok curses, "why in the name of the Goddess have you decided to move so much more slowly than before?"

The wyvern simply looks down at the river in front of it and snags a rather large fish before swallowing it whole.

"Perhaps the creature needs to be well fed, or perhaps it was enchanted with a spell that wares off over time?"

"If you must know" Halvok hears Edelgard say from about sixty feet from him, "wyvern's speed is increased with the consumption of coffee."

"You" Halvok yells in shock and rage, "you atrocious little wench. How did you find me?"

"Well lets see" Edelgard says in her sarcastic and arrogant tone she used for those she wasn't particularly fond of, "first there were reports of a strange purple man yelling at a wyvern in the area, then reports of a strange purple man robbing shops, and finally a report of a strange purple man punching an elderly woman in the face, and although there may be other purple skinned men out and about I doubt any of them are cowardly enough to punch an old woman."

"That old bitch had it coming" the Agarthan roared, "and so do you, tiny whore of Hresvelg."

"My my Halvok, do you kiss your jezebel grandmother with that mouth" El teased.

"That's it" Halvok yells, "it is time I bring your horrid existence to a terminus for the Agarthan people."

"Seeing as there hardly any of them left, that seems like a wasted effort" Edelgard mocks as she stands confident with her axe resting over her shoulder.

Halvok powers up a wave of miasma and tosses it at the Emperor but El blocks it with a strike of her silver axe.

The Agarthan rushes forward and punches his much smaller foe in the gut before following up with three more punches that send El to the ground.

"To the depths of hell with you, you ungrateful, foolish little girl" Halvok cried out as he mounts Edelgard and attempts to continue his assault.

Edelgard grips her axe and uses it to cross check Halvok in his purple face before popping her hips up and sending him over her head onto the muddy ground.

Halvok wipes mud off his face just in time to see Edelgard swinging her axe which slashes his shoulder and then the swift and skilled strikes of Edelgard land twice more hitting Halvok in the chest and the right rib.

The villain falls to his knees as blood spills from his body.

"Surrender now Halvok if you wish to continue breathing" Edelgard says, still willing to show mercy.

"I will die before submitting to you" he snaps back, "fine by me" El says as she raise her axe.

Halvok swiftly tackles the young woman before she can land a finishing blow and they both crash into the nearby wyvern.

The flying reptile bites down on El's shoulder and the Emperor tries to hold back from yelling in pain.

"Ah ha ha" Halvok laughs, "good wyvern, now rip her throat out."

The wyvern then bites Halvok's head and the Agarthan yells out in both pain and outrage.

"Foolish lizard" he cries out.

El grips her axe in preparation but Halvok strikes it out of her hand with a miasma blast.

Halvok then shoves her forward onto the wyvern's back.

The creature is startled and begins to fly off with Edelgard as an unwilling passenger.

"Damn it lizard, I'm not done with her yet" Halvok yells as he grabs the beast's tail in an attempt to keep it grounded.

The wyvern however, proves too strong and Halvok is forced to hold on to the creature's thrashing tail as it ascends into the air.

Edelgard tries to kick Halvok's head but her legs aren't long enough to reach.

The Emperor holds the wyvern's neck tightly to avoid falling.

Back at the academy, Edelgard was never assigned a winged mount and thus had no clue how to properly ride one.

As the wyvern struggles to keep itself airborne it becomes clear that both Edelgard and Halvok's weight combined are too much for the mount to get more than a hundred feet off the ground.

The wyvern twists itself into a barrel roll which causes Edelgard to plummet to the river below.

Halvok laughs with delight as he makes his way to the wyvern's back and starts to fly off, but suddenly he realizes that he can't simply leave Edelgard, after everything she's done he was going to make damn sure that he killed her by the day's end.

Under the water, Edelgard's body thrashes about wildly as the young Emperor starts to panic.

Edelgard was afraid of the sea since she was a child and never learned to swim.

Although this wasn't the sea, merely a river but, it was deep enough for her to drowned.

El had to pull herself together and think carefully.

She opened her eyes wide and turned towards where she thought the river bank was. The Emperor pushed her legs like a frog in hopes she could propel herself forward.

Her efforts appeared to work as El's head broke the surface the water as she edged towards the shallow end of the river and she was able to pull herself up on the muddy bank.

"I did it" she thought as she struggled to catch her breath and pushed her long, wet hair out of her face.

Edelgard's feeling of victory was short lived when she realized that she couldn't spot Halvok.

"No" she thought, "he can't get away again."

Edelgard raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sun as she managed to pick out a object moving towards her from the sky.

The object is none other then Halvok, zooming towards her atop his wyvern with bitter hate in his eyes.

The Agarthan leaps from his mount and dives onto of Edelgard.

As Halvok has Edelgard mounted underneath him he shoved her head under the water in hopes of finally killing his enemy.

"You will die here Edelgard Von Hresvelg" he screams, "you never deserved that crest, you never deserved the throne."

As El's lungs again were being filled with water she had to act fast but Halvok was far too strong for even her to over power and the combination of being strangled and being held under the water had seemingly overtook the Emperor and she fell lifeless in Halvok's grip.

The purple mad man wasn't even satisfied when he had won.

Halvok grabbed El by her by the ankles and dragged her limp body through the mud.

"You disgusting, good for nothing woman" he hissed, "we gave you everything and you turned your back on all of us."

Halvok started to pace back and forth, rage still flowing through him.

"I'll piss on your body before I feed it to my wyvern" he yells before standing over the conquered Emperor and unzipping his pants.

Edelgard has other plans and pops up and lands a punch square between Halvok's legs.

The Agarthan drops to the ground and he and the Emperor both had to struggle to breathe.

"I never wanted your stupid fucking crest" El declared as she managed to pull herself back up to her feet, "I never wanted the throne either, I only wanted my family back."

As he began to recover from the brutal low blow, Halvok started to laugh, "you petulant brat" he uttered as he got back to a vertical stance.

"My siblings were killed too when I was a young lad and you don't see me whining about it."

"You probably were the one who killed them" El replied.

"Of course I was" Halvok laughed, "they were weak just as your family was weak."

Edelgard's face displayed intense anger hearing this foul creature dare speak of her family in such a way.

"Don't look at me like that, it's true" Halvok says, "your father was a coward we controlled like a puppet, and your siblings were too weak to survive the crest infusion, but you were different, you were strong but being a surface dweller you could never put your selfishness aside."

Halvok gazed at Edelgard with a crude smile, "I tried to warn Thales, but he wouldn't listen, he cared for you too much to be reasoned with."

"Thales was a murdering mad man, he never cared for anyone, especially not me" Edelgard replied in a harsh tone of voice.

"We Agarthans may seem brutal to you, but you must understand, we were born in the darkness, we were born oppressed by the Goddess, we were in fear of the Immaculate one, in fear of a surface world that we would never again be welcomed in unless we tore apart it's foundation."

Halvok walked towards El and stared down at her, "tell me" he spoke in nearly a whisper, "did you not feel yourself going mad in that dungeon, how long did you sit in the dark, a few days perhaps."

El's hands balled up into fists, she wanted to hit him but something held her back, something she didn't truly understand but she needed to hear more.

"Despite our madness we can be as foolish as you when we feel love for someone, and Thales couldn't stop boasting of his little princess, the one he told us would be the savior of the Agarthans, who he told us could burn even the gods."

Edelgard had a flashback of sitting in a tiny cell, her small body covered in bandages, her siblings all dead, her hair was now ghost white, and pools of blood and urine soaked the floor as she sat in terror on the hard floor cradling herself.

She had screamed so much that she lost her voice and could no longer speak a word, she had cried so much that her eyes were now dry.

Men with dark robes stood outside her cell and she noticed the men swiftly stand up straight and step back as a dark figure moved like an evil phantom towards the cell. It was a creepy purple skinned man, it was Thales.

He opened the door to her cell and knelt down before the traumatized little girl.

"So you're the soul survivor" he said with a despicable smirk on his face, "you've shown impressive durability for someone so tiny."

Little Edelgard stared into the eyes of the stranger in front of her not sure what to do.

"I know you're hurting and I know you're scared" he whispered, "but I promise your days of feeling weak and helpless are over. You're a very special girl and now you have the power to burn even the gods."

Edelgard snapped out of her flashback in a frenzy.

"You can shove your crest up your purple ass" she screamed as she began to punch the villain in his oddly shaped head repeatedly.

Although he tries to fight back Edelgard is clearly overwhelming Halvok and he turns to make a hasty retreat.

Halvok darts up a nearby hill but Edelgard isn't letting him escape this time. The Emperor tackles Halvok to the ground at the top of the hill and continues her onslaught of punches before grabbing a large rock and lifting it above her head. "This ends here" she yells as she slams the rock into Halvok's head again and again.

"I hate all of you" El screams as tears start to trickle down her face and Halvok's head is reduced to an oozing pile of mush.

Edelgard finally places the rock down and sits down on the grassy hill top her brain still not quite sure how to process what just happened.

She looks at Halvok's body half expecting him to pop up but, one look at the spot where his head once was, makes her realize that was a very unlikely occurrence. "They're gone now" she thought in a somewhat trance like state of mind. 

Edelgard, still full of emotion unballs her fists a stares down at her now shaking hands before she breaks down and starts crying.

Her soft sobs become louder and louder until she starts to cry uncontrolably, for reasons she didn't even really understand. Perhaps it was the horror of her childhood trama rearing it's ugly head, or siply relief that the monsters that caused her so much pain were finally eradicated from the Earth. As the Emperor takes deep breaths and steadily regains her composure her ears are met with the sounds of birds chirping and the river flowing wipes her eyes.

But just then another familiar sound can be heard, a voice.

"Hey El!"

"Byleth" she thought, it did sound like her wife's voice.

"Edelgard, down here."

El peered down to see Byleth fishing in the river below, "Byleth!"

Edelgard promptly wiped her face to conceal the fact she had been crying.

"Byleth what are you doing here?"

"Fishing" Byleth shrugged, "what's it look like."

"Did you catch anything, my love" El asks hoping her voice doesn't reveal her emotional outburst just a moment ago.

"Not yet" Byleth says, "I thought I got up pretty early but it turns out old people get up really early and those old men have likely caught all the fish again."

Edelgard let out a soft laugh.

"So did you find Halvok yet" Byleth asks.

"Actually ah, yes" Edelgard stuttered, not sure if she should lie or not.

"I just killed him, I chased him up this hill and beat his head in with a boulder."

"Oh" Byleth replies, "good for you."  
\-------------------------------------------

The next night Dorothea and Petra arrive at the Imperial Palace arm in arm.

Petra stops and grips Dorothea's hand just before the women reach the entrance.

"I must be admitting to feeling very nervous Dorothea" the Brigid queen confesses.

"That's not like you" Dorothea says with concern, "what's the matter?"

"I am somewhat worried about confessing our love to the others" Petra states while glancing at the ground.

"I doubt Byleth and Edie will judge us for being in love with a member of the same sex" Dorothea giggles.

"It is not that" Petra shakes her head, "in Brigid there is not as much acceptance of such things, and although we are no longer in my country, I still am feeling uneasy."

"Look Petra, we don't have to tell them if you don't want to."

Dorothea's words came out rather somber, it was clear she wanted very much to announce her new relationship to her friends but was willing to keep it a secret for Petra's sake.

"No" Petra expeditiously cried out, "if I am to be loving you I shall do so with all of my heart, and that means I must allow others to be knowing."

A deep blush and beaming smile emerged on Dorothea's face, "Oh Petra" she said slowly as she softly placed her hand on her lover's arm.

"Dorothea, Petra, is that you?"

The two ladies turn to see Bernadetta peering out from behind the curtain on a nearby carriage.

"Hello Bernie" Dorothea said with a smile, "did you just get here?"

"Oh no, I've been here for nearly an hour, but I was too scared to come out since there was no one I recognized and the palace looks really scary at night" the purple haired girl explained as she kept a firm grip on the dark curtain.

"We are here now Bernie" Petra says with a warm smile, "you can come out now."

The three women made their way into the palace and were met with an all too familiar voice of Ferdinand echoing down the hallway.

"So after besting the mercenaries, Hubert and I arrested the fiends responsible and I am certain my bravery and good looks finally won Hubert over and he swiftly confessed his undying love for me then and there."

"That is not exactly what happened" Hubert replied with more than a hint of annoyance.

"That is exactly how I remember it" Ferdinand could be heard saying.

"It sounds like were not the only one's coming out of the closet" Dorothea whispers to Petra.

"I do not recall us being in a closet Dorothea" Petra whispers back.

"Never mind" the songstress says as she grins and shakes her head.

The three women enter the conference room to see, Edelgard and Byleth side by side holding hands, Lindhardt slumped over in a chair, Lysithea stuffing her face with cupcakes placed out on a table in the far corner, Caspar standing with crossed arms, Hubert standing straight with his hands in front of him and, of course the voluble Ferdinand in the center of the room siphoning all the attention.

"Ah ladies" the Prime Minister says, "you are just in time to hear all about how Hubert and I have fallen madly in love with each other."

"Really" Dorothea smirks, "Hubie is this true?"

"It is true that Ferdinand and I are seeing each other in a somewhat romantic sense" he explains in his sober voice.

"As you can see Hubert is as elated as I" Ferdinand proclaimed leaving everyone wondering if he was being facetious or was in fact that clueless.

"Well Ferdie" Dorothea says playfully, "I didn't know you and Hubert swung that way."

"Oh yes" Ferdinand says proudly, "I am far gayer than anyone in Fodlan, even Edelgard."

"People's sexual orientations aren't competitions Ferdinand" El explains as she face palms.

"Of course not" Ferdinand responds with a nod, "but if they were I most certainly would be victorious."

"Well since being of the gay is being discussed" Petra awkwardly interjected, "Dorothea and I would like to be sharing something with all of you."

Petra turned to Dorothea with a smile.

"Well" Dorothea said in a coy tone as she takes Petra's hand, "Petra and I have become rather close these past few weeks..."

Before the singer can finish, Petra excitedly cuts in, "Dorothea and I have given our hearts to each other just as Hubert and Ferdinand have."

"Is that so" Edelgard smiles, "I am very happy for the both of you."

"Wow" says Caspar as he rubs the top of his head, "this gay stuff is really taking off, first our Emperor marries our professor and now you're all on the gay wagon. I hope this isn't a trend we all have to follow because that would leave me with Lindhardt."

"Pfff" Lindhardt scoffs, "you could do worse."

"Speak for yourself" Caspar replies.

"If Byleth and I have started a trend, it's allowing people to be who they are" Edelgard said proudly.

"I believe you're right, Lady Edelgard" Hubert mused, "it was likely that homosexuality was more common than we believed but, many had felt the need to keep their proclivities a secret."

"That's not much of a secret" Lysithea says with a mouthful of cupcake, "try having parents that are cousins, now that's a secret you don't want to get out."

"What about your fear of ghosts" Bernadetta asks.

"Yeah" Byleth chimes in, "or how about when you were a student you used to come to my room and sleep in my bed with me because you were too scared to be alone in the dark."

"Byleth" Lysithea yells, "you weren't suppose to tell anyone about that.

"I didn't" Byleth insists, "wait I just did, didn't I?"

El looked at her wife with a glare of both sympathy and reprimand.

"This is why I don't talk much" Byleth says lowering her eyes.

"Forgive my wife" El said softly, "keeping secrets is not her specialty."

"I never told anyone that you like being spanked" Byleth said without thinking and quickly realized that was the wrong thing to say.

The shocked group just looked away to avoid the Emperor's gaze, not sure what to say or how to react.

With a brutally stern look, Edelgard looked around the room at each of her friends.

"I swear to the Goddess if any of you so much as snicker or utter a word about what was just said I will toss you from the palace balcony" she threatened.

Caspar held his hand to his mouth trying his damndest not to laugh as Bernadetta held her mouth in utter horror knowing Edelgard wasn't kidding.

"Moving on from that" Hubert states trying to cover for Edelgard, "I will admit I am glad to see you all here on the one year anniversary of our victory over the Church Of Seiros ."

"Agreed" Ferdinand nodded, "the Black Eagle Strike Force being back together is a call for celebration."

"Who came up with Black Eagles Strike Force anyway" Lindhardt asked.

"I did" Edelgard said with a slight blush, "I came up with several possible names like, Black Eagle Strike Team, which would have made us the BEST."

"A fine name" Ferdinand said, "why not go with that one?"

"Strike team didn't exactly have the best ring to it" El explained as she placed a finger to her chin, "there was also Professor Byleth's class of greatness, team awesome, the fuck the church squad and, Edelgard and friends."

"I am some what partial to Edelgard and friends" Hubert opines.

"You would be" Lindhardt responds sardonically.

"I kind of like Professor Byleth's class of greatness" Byleth says.

"You told me you loved Black Eagles Strike Force" El said sounding puzzled.

"You never told me Professor Byleth's class of greatness was an option" Byleth gently shrugs.

"Anyway" El says to her guests, "I am overjoyed to have all of you here with me at the palace, you have all become family to me and I am truly honored to have you all by my side."

Ferdinand lifts a glass of wine and proposes a toast, to the Adrestian Empire, the future of Fodlan, and the right for one to love who they wish.

Ferdinand made sure to flash Hubert a loving smile when emphasizing the last part.

The others all lifted their glasses to join the toast.

Hubert gave Ferdinand a smile and a nod.

"Hubert" Edelgard whispered to her vassal.

"Yes lady Edelgard" he replied quickly, turning to face the Emperor.

"Could you join me in the hall for a moment" she asked.

"Oh course" he said with a bow and excused himself.

El encouraged her guest to eat and drink whatever they like and turned to step outside the door.

"How may I be of service your Majesty" Hubert asked respectfully.

"Well Hubert" El spoke gently, "you've been my vassal for a long time, and in truth you've been so much more than that to me. You've watched out for me like an older brother and when I lost my family it was you who stood by me even when I'm sure that wasn't easy."

"To serve you has always been a pleasure and a great honor, Lady Edelgard" Hubert smiled.

"I'm glad you feel that way" the Emperor replies, "but it's time for you to move on to something new."

"What" Hubert uttered in shock, his eyes wide as he nearly stumbled backwards, was she going to fire him?

"I feel that the title of vassal is one you have outgrown" Edelgard smiles as she folds her arms.

"I feel you are better suited as my personal adviser."

"Is that not the responsibility of the Prime Minister" Hubert asks, not sure where his mistress is going with this.

"Yes it is, but not solely Ferdinand's task alone" she says as she grips Hubert's arm, "I believe your insight is beyond valuable and your perspective is very different from that of Ferdinand's, the two of you will allow me to better prepare for any problem that may arise."

Hubert looks on stunned, being the Emperor's vassal was his reason for living, it defined him, or did it?

Hubert's mind raced until it was clear to him what gave him purpose was his relationship to Edelgard, a relationship that would still be very much intact.

"I know you may have other prospects" Edelgard grinned slyly, "I could also use a court jester and you seem to have experience in that as well."

Hubert couldn't help but to smile, "I will except the position your offering" he said, "the adviser, not the jester."

Edelgard giggled and gave Hubert a hug, the two simply stood there for a moment.

El broke the hug and looked up at her newly appointed adviser, "I love you, Hubert."

"I love you too, Lady Edelgard" he said as he extended his arm, "may I escort you back to the festivities?"

Edelgard takes Hubert's arm and they walk back into the room to enjoy their time with the people they cared for the most; the black eagles strike force........aka Edelgard and friends.

What took place that night in the conference room when the old friends celebrated together?

Did Caspar hook up with Bernadetta, did Lindhardt manage to fall asleep, did Lysithea regret eating vast amounts of junk food?

Only the ten of them will ever know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire Emblem Three Houses is a game I've spent quite a bit of time playing. 
> 
> After playing all the routes, my favorite is by far the Crimson Flower route.
> 
> Despite it having major short comings, the story of Edelgard fighting against the Church greatly resonated with me.
> 
> Although her actions are so what questionable, I strongly hold to the position that Edelgard is the hero of the story and is a complex character that people either understand or they don't.
> 
> Edelgard may be my favorite character but this story centered around Hubert for a few reasons.
> 
> Firstly I saw a pictures online of Hubert dressed as a clown and the concept materialized in my mind.
> 
> Secondly, when I think about it, Hubert and I have much in common.
> 
> We both like coffee, we're both cynical assholes and, we both love Edelgard.
> 
> Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> -I plan to finish this story in three chapters.
> 
> -I saw a meme online that displayed Hubert as a clown and I thought a story about a clown Hubert would be a good idea, yes I'm using the word good rather loosely.
> 
> -Yes, the other members of the Black Eagles will be featured in the following installments.
> 
> -No, the nobles featured as well as Halvok, the Annoyger Troll and Hubert's mother are not characters in any Fire Emblem games. I made them up.


End file.
